I posted in the Haven earlier this week about a potential self-fulfilling prophecy and my birthday on Friday. Recently I have been going through some spiritual enlightenment and it is really turning my life around. I ultimately decided to go out to a meetup last night and didn't bump into the old flame, but it wouldn't have mattered one bit anyway. I felt a force hit me on Friday night that said "go out tomorrow."
I really enjoyed my time at the meetup I went to and the socializing went really well. I saw things as they were. I even connected with people I didn't even connect with before. I could actually feel some sort of connection. It was quite the feeling. My other friends had something going on elsewhere and I decided at 1 am to go meet up with them. No regrets on this decision as it allowed me to see things as they are.
These were the people that were too busy on Friday from what I heard when I went to see them. Out of the group, there were at least 10 people (4 girls. 6 guys). I came in with a great mood and smiling and very clear headed. It seemed as if two people I grew up with here were to preoccupied with themselves. At least four of the group I never met before, but the rest of the group had knowledge that it was my birthday weekend. I got nothing from them for the most part. I asked one girl her name again because I didn't remember, she kind of snarled at me and looked the other way. I didn't like this attitude and the so called "best friend" is dating her. Another girl- when iIattempted to make small talk with her and ask her how she is doing gave me a smile, said something stupid (not really an answer) and immediately grabbed her phone. This was the final straw for me as I walked out. I got a hug from the girlfriend of the other guy I grew up with and a "happy birthday" as I walked away. The rest of the group seemed kinda rude and too preoccupied. Instead of making a scene there, I texted the "best friend" and told him I felt the behaviour towards me was unacceptable (especially since I had to buy my own drink.)
What this told me about the group of people that were supposed to be friends: I don't quite fit in. This new person I am becoming probably won't be taken seriously cosinderg that before I may allowed myself to be treated this way and let it go for some reason and I was too blind to see it. I give these guys more than they ever give me (come out and celebrate their birthdays with them, they can't be bothered with me). Furthermore, I don't think any real connections were established before and I take responsibility for some of that. The bottom line is it's time to move on from this group. I don't know why I couldn't find any enlightenment before, but I am glad I did now
20 Jan 2013, 11:35 pm
