Have friends but feel very alone.

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I have always thought of myself as being alone- ever since I was a boy. I've had a few real friends in high school as well as 5 real friends in college (with a hundred or so casual friends/aquaintences)-now im 22 and can count 5-6 'real' friends that I feel connected to even though I am physically seperated from them. I'm around people everyday and hang out with friends every week...yet i feel completely alone. I realized that I have many friends (though not close ones that I trust completely and feel at ease around) when I looked at my facebook inbox. Its just row after row of random messeges with people I see every day, or people I used to see everyday when I lived in my previous location...I got friends.

For the duration of last year, I mostly worked everyday from 10am to 4:30 pm, went home then either stayed in or went out with some ppl. On my days off, I'd go for walks, the grocery store, meet up with a friend to get lunch, go to the movies with a friend...every few months I've travelled (again with a friend mostly) to Hawaii, Oregon or other parts of Washington....despite all of this, I still feel like I have nobody to depend on, nobody to talk to (even though I talk to people everyday). I get this sinking feeling when I leave work for home- like a helpless loneliness.

I thank God for what I have and what I have earned in my life...but I have a feeling that my subconcious has been cornered/driven to have to be perfect and thus makes me feel inadaquate in any situation even if I am actually very at ease in them. it makes no sense at all. Does anyone else relate to some of the things I've written here?

Sweet Pea hugs

I felt the same way, always alone, from when I was a small child, up into my late 40s. There are always people around me, but I just don't seem to be able to connect to them, except when I am dancing. I started dancing Argentine Tango in my 30s, and although it was very difficult for the first 5 years or so, I have become very competent. It has become my special interest. Dancing tango gives me a sense of belonging, and because conversation is discouraged, I don't tend to put people off until after they have a chance to know me through my dancing.

I feel the same way day in and day out-and I have no one I can talk to or trust-used to but not any more.I get that same sinking feeling you do and I feel helpless and hopeless.

It seems to me your problem stems from a lack of meaningful contact. You have plenty of people you interact with, but if you don't feel they actually understand you on more than a superficial level, it can feel like you are talking but nobody is hearing you.

Anyway, that's how I feel when I interact with most people. I am more at ease with people who are at least mildly on the spectrum. Come to think of it, the friends with whom I feel I can talk freely are all somewhat autistic. While I know plenty of NTs who seem to like me well enough, I rarely feel much of a personal connection with them. We might discuss common interests but as much as I try to connect, I feel there is no way to bridge the gap of our different experiences of life. In some ways, it's like trying to talk to a person who only knows a few words of your language: it seems like you should be able to communicate and yet trying to do so is frustrating and futile.

Do you have friends on the spectrum? Would it be useful to seek out people on the spectrum by attending engineering clubs, comic conventions or gaming groups?

I know exactly how you feel. During the week I interact with my friends but when the weekend comes around I often spend 48-72hrs without speaking, and hiding away in my room. I have a best friend, so to speak, who i feel somewhat understands me but everytime i speak with her she always puts words in my mouth, but i don't know how to tell her to stop. I'm also afraid that if i say anything she will not want to be my friend any longer. So i can understand feeling alone in a crowded room.

I get along with most people, but I don't 100% trust anyone even one of my close friends. I know my close friend doesn't mean to but when I tell her something she gives me biblical advice and feedback, I don't take the bible that literally. I can tolerate it on a good day, but on a bad day, I don't want to here her psycho-babble or bible-babble. A lot times I have to act like I'm Christain because I'm afraid she'll dump me. So yes...I feel alone and like no one really knows me and I don't trust anyone enough to let them get to know me. Now I don't feel close to my friend...I feel utterly alone.

I get along with most people, but I don't 100% trust anyone even one of my close friends. I know my close friend doesn't mean to but when I tell her something she gives me biblical advice and feedback, I don't take the bible that literally. I can tolerate it on a good day, but on a bad day, I don't want to here her psycho-babble or bible-babble. A lot times I have to act like I'm Christain because I'm afraid she'll dump me. So yes...I feel alone and like no one really knows me and I don't trust anyone enough to let them get to know me. Now I don't feel close to my friend...I feel utterly alone. I guess I'm not that alone if other people feel that way on here
I get frustrated because I don't know when I'm socializing if people really like me or they're just being "polite "