That's it. I want to end my life.

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I guess I am just sick of living in Bangkok, Thailand.
I think that day by day by day, my mental health is worsening and I often ponder upon highly suicidal thoughts at times, and I've reached to a point where my head is going to explode and I want to end my life immediately.

First off, I do not seem to understand why the f**k does everybody seem to follow whatever I do and whatever I do. I have been struggling with depression and mental imbalance since I was 7 years old after I was repeatedly attacked verbally and treated poorly by a teacher, and since then teachers in my school repeatedly harass me because they think I cannot succeed at school, they repeatedly warned that I cannot succeed in the most rigorous curriculum at school. I just think it is because I am myself, and they are just bullying and harassing me because of my disability, in addition to school bullying.

Another thing is also with my family - My dad is an egoist who will never grow up, my brother and my mother always want to instigate me, but I just tell to myself that they are attention seekers who are just plain old bored with their lives and just are looking for attention.

With a few more months before I graduate, I do not want to continue my life any longer and I don't want to live this pathetic existence of an Asperger anymore. My mental health is worsening day by day, my parents are refusing for me to visit a doctor, and I just don't know what to do now - I've got nobody, not even a single friend here.

Is it a tradition to stay in family in Thailand? Consider focusing on your education (it's tough for you but let me tell you that nobody has it easy) and change the environment ASAP, finding a new place to live and/or a new job.

Your family may mistreat you because they have an urge to abuse others, for instance if they themselves face abuse at their working place, or perhaps changing your life for the better will change their attitude (some of us tend to overreact and assume that people hate them when things aren't nearly as bad; e.g. there was a kid some time back who posted about his dad planning to kill him and then quickly changing his mind, which was apparently not the case).

Can you think of something you do well, or a feature that distinguishes you from the rest? That's the key to finding your way out. Alternatively, you just suck it up and work your way through; most aspies and NTs alike have to do the same as not everyone has the luxury of being born a genius.

Depression seems to be pretty common on the spectrum,a bad family situation does not help.
I have no idea what options are available to you,is there a counselor at your school?Are there any community mental health facilities available?Please seek these out if they are there. you may need anti -depressants.
And it may seem like forever,but you can be free of your parents after you graduate.
It is an undertow,hold your breath,wait to pop up on the other side.
Don't end your life,hold your breath and endure till this phase passes.

Do you have anyone you can talk to online? You say you have no friends irl; maybe you should try finding people who'll be there for you when you need it on the internet. I know there are people here who would be happy to chat.

It may not be much, but, it is the best I can do.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt224740.html

Well, if you wanna talk, just drop me a PM. I'll do the best I can. :B

I'd suggest taking the other posts into consideration as well. TheValk and Misslizard both have very good points.