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YellowBanana
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12 Feb 2013, 6:01 pm

OK, I don't know what to write.

My husband, who I have been with for 19 years, told me tonight that he is scared because he can no longer see our long term future together, and as a result isn't sure whether he wants to stay with me. He hasn't made any decisions, he seems honestly unsure and confused. It is clear he still loves me in many ways. I don't really know how to handle this. I don't think he knows how to handle it either. No decisions have to be made right now.

My instinct and urge is to hurt myself to help me cope with this. But I've been doing so well since I've been on the risperidone and it's been a month since I last hurt myself - I can't remember when I last went so long without - and I desperately don't want to do it now because the timing will make it look "manipulative" even though it's nothing of the sort.

It's bedtime so I'm going to take my nightly meds which knock me out, but I'm really worried about how to stop myself hurting myself tomorrow/the day after etc.


_________________
Female. Dx ASD in 2011 @ Age 38. Also Dx BPD


answeraspergers
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12 Feb 2013, 6:04 pm

resist the conditioned responses. they are neuroplastic habits and each time you resists your brain connectivity changes a little.

stay strong.



Ann2011
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12 Feb 2013, 8:25 pm

YellowBanana wrote:
My husband, who I have been with for 19 years, told me tonight that he is scared because he can no longer see our long term future together, and as a result isn't sure whether he wants to stay with me. He hasn't made any decisions, he seems honestly unsure and confused.

Take your time . . . it is good that your husband is communicating with you. It shows that he wants to move forward in the relationship. Keep the lines of communication open and find out what it is that is concerning him/what his thoughts are.

Quote:
My instinct and urge is to hurt myself to help me cope with this.

Don't do it!
Quote:
timing will make it look "manipulative" even though it's nothing of the sort.

It will ... it would make your husband feel terrible.

Quote:
I'm really worried about how to stop myself hurting myself tomorrow/the day after etc.

It might help to make an appointment with your doctor and talk with him/her about the situation and your reaction to it.

Keep moving forward . . . and don't blame yourself.