I want to diiiiiiieeeeeeee already

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It seems like my life is made for suicide. Father is a piece of ***, men are pieces of *** when they bother to pay attention, I'm nothing more than a cumrag, which I say no to of course, and anyone who pays honest attention is creepy and yucky - basically looking for a housemaid and a cumrag but doing it in a polite way.

What's there to live for? Alcohol? Makes me nauseous and sleepy. Nicotine gives me headaches. Life is *** and so are people.

Hobbies? Interests? List them all, and maybe think about why you like them. U:

Why do you want to die because men are %*--&£&*.? You don't need a man to have something to look forward to. Do your hobbies and interests. Do you need help getting away from your father? There is help out there. Find it and take it. Work on building your self esteem. Live for you not someone or something else. I don't know what your situation is but I have felt hopeless and wanting to die several times myself. I know how difficult it is to look past the bad things. You are worth it. Please get help if you are in an abusive relationship.

I'm not in a relationship.

Yes, I know all the help but what's the freaking point? I have no hobbies or interests.

Antidepressants don't work for me.

And I *** want affection ! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! ! I'm SOOOO sick and tired of ppl WITH ROMANTIC SUCCESS AND AFFECTION IN THEIR LIVES going oh you don't need a man no I don't but without affection I don't want to live simple as that.

Some days feel like sh*# to me and some dayd feel so great to me. On the days where I feel like sh%#, I simply think about the happy times I've had an d how they will come again. I also go to school which keeps me occupied and gives me little goals, maybe you have little goals? Once a week I hang out with family and eat good food and on those days life feels really great and I think of thiose days and rather wait then let go. Not all men are gross. Maybe you met at least one guy who is that way?

At the risk of sounding silly... have you tried dating someone with AS? It could well be the guys you've been with could not connect with you because they don't know how to.

No interests whatsoever? Video games, books, movies, history, science, art...? Nothing like that?

Get a grip! Sheesh! I don't have a man, but I'm not crying about it, damn! And if you don't have hobbies, well, I hate to say it, but that's on you. Have you bothered to even try to find something you like to do instead of sitting around having a pity party?

If you don't know what it is to walk in someone else's shoes, don't post your idiotic blabber in my thread plzkthx. I've tried every hobby on the planet, dancing, building robots etc etc. Hard to do all that s*** when you have a KILLER migraine 4 days out of 7 in a week that OTC painkillers cannot touch even ABOVE THE MAXIMUM DOSAGE, and the doctors refuse to prescribe anything that would help because OMG DRUG PANIC OMG SHE'S A JUNKIE I CAN TELL EVEN THO SHE HAS NO RECORD OF IT. And forget about the ER.

All I want is to someone to hold me while I lie in bed in agonizing head pain and nausea for five f*** hours in a row. But oh yeah I should get a grip and just go out and get a hobby that I can do in agonizing pain, or maybe on the postdrome day where I still feel like s*** and am in a brain fog.

BTB all that blabber about paracetamol causing liver damage is greatly exagerrated. It doesn't do s*** to kill you, unfortunately.

What else have you tried to get rid of the migraines? Change of diet, less toxic surroundings, caffeine?

No you don't you need a hug!

@ noxnocturne I don't know, if you're being abused and/or have clinical depression - enjoying hobbies doesn't come very easily.

I've tried every diet out there, including vegan, and I do stick to them as I have good self-discipline and am not really hungry at all ever, mostly I'm just happy when I can keep the food down, don't care what it is and I won't risk it with too much sugar even when not on a diet. But no, no food triggers that I can identify. It seems to be more regularity of eating that triggers it, I can't eat too much or too little but what I eat doesn't seem to matter.
Less toxic surroundings - not a possibility, I have zero cash, I can barely study anymore and I doubt any career will be an option, ever, with my condition.
Caffeine makes the headache a bit better actually, I take pills with caffeine in them. I never drunk coffee when the migraines started, just by accident discovered caffeine makes it better.

I'm very sorry. The only thing I could think of to help you was perhaps drawing your attention to the things in your life that aren't going wrong, but I don't think it's working.

I hope things get better for you.

I remember you, bluerose. Mostly because you mentioned in a different thread all the problems you were facing, which are all just about similar to mine, right down to needing orthognathic surgery that you couldn't get (except replace crappy treatment at the hands of men with being at the hands of women, obviously). I hate to hear that you're still doing terribly. I wish there was something I could do to help.