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I'm not functioning.

I'm in a multiple day long shutdown.

Everything is ending. The world is going to pieces. I can't function. Everythings going wrong. The world hurts. I can't make it.

No one cares. I'm worthless it's all hopeless. Life is a slap in the face. Everthing is torture. Someone please help me. I want to die.

I feel like im in hell.

That makes two us.

Been there. Is there someone you can call?

More numbers and other things: http://www.suicidehotlines.com

Sometimes it feels like I continue each day so I can give Satan the finger as I go unconscious.



Nope, and nope.



... I think I'm relatively powerless to say anything to the above since most of those bits aren't up to me. All I know is that I think I've felt this way before too.

So have many of us here. I think lots of us will feel better once this passes for you too. Hang in there.

Just take a bit of a break XD.

Several days sounds quite serious - just try not to socialize until you calm down!

If you live with other people, maybe tell them to go on a vacation?

I can.t

If I stop....my whole life is over.

Everything i care about. Gone. How can i make it? I'm not myself. I can't even type. I have been catatonic and unable tospeak and unable to feel and unable to function.

:( This will subside. may i ask what the major thing is that is driving you in a catatonic state?

Ok. Deep breaths. Please tell us what brought this on, if you can. You sound like you're in major overload. We need to know what happened to you. Then we can talk you through it.

Ok. I'm able to type.

First off, I'm not schizophrenic. But I have been having catatonic episodes. Last week, I had one. Week before, I had one. Today, I had one. Luckily none of them have been in public, but today's almost was.
Anything can set it off. Loud noises, sudden movements, general stress, anxiety, and depression getting worse all of the sudden can trigger an attack. I start getting really slow-moving, but panicky, because I don't know what would happen if all the sudden, I couldn't move, out in public, with people.

But, sometimes I will get halfway there, and it's HORRIBLE. Think normal sensory overload x 10. Its like my nerves are RAW, but I'm so slow that I can't move away from it. It's like being tortured in a chair strapped down and not able to move. And what's worse, everything that could make it worse happens when I'm like this. I always get caught walking to class with the person that shuffles their feet on the ground, which feels like you're rubbing sandpaper on a scraped knee. I get halfway catatonic and suddenly EVERYONE wants to chat with me about something trivial, and I....can't....communicate.

Then, in class, everyone is chewing gum, which sounds like fireworks going off in my brain. The clock is so loud that my heart starts palpitating. Someone behind me slurps a drink, which feels like someone rubbing a raw nerve.

My mind doesn't think clearly. I'm emotional, but I don't know why. I have no memory. My OCD goes off the charts, and I start obsessing over everything. I'm EXHAUSTED, even though I sleep ALL THE TIME. My social issues are amplified, to the point where I'm so blunt people think I'm incredibly rude, or so blind to everything nonverbal that I miss out on everything that they want to say, and they're getting frustrated.

Worst of all, my mind is SLOW. Sensory issues come at me fast, but they bombard me and I can only get them through one at a time. But stuff that doesn't bother me comes at me in parsed chunks - my vision goes microscopic. My synesthesia gets worse.

Then, because I'm so slow, my executive function goes down. And I forget to eat. Or I'm too depressed or nauseous or overstimulated to eat. So, my blood sugar drops (I have hypoglycemia). Then, I get even more emotional, and irrational, because my brain doesn't have the glucose to function. And, CONVENIENTLY, the cafeteria at my school is late on getting food out, and I am ready to pass out, halfway catatonic, low blood sugar, and I have a class soon, in the middle of a crowded room, and I can't communicate.

My whole life is being affected. I can't do anything. I have so much going for me; this is the worst time for this to happen. People expect things out of me, and I have dreams I'm SO CLOSE to fulfilling. I can't check out now. But no one cares. People see me wandering, or not able to walk, or crying, or stressed, and no one gives a damn. I can't tell my parents - they don't understand half of what goes on and one of them just wants me "fixed." People who know me are tired of all of my problems.

I can't keep typing - this is stressing me out.

Someone please respond so that I don't really start thinking that I'm living in some unknown universe.

We're here.

An observation... when was the last time you had a blood sugar curve test done (i think they call them glucose curve in the US?) ?. Your symptoms are very similar to someone with diabetic (not hypoglycemic) issues. One of my uncles constantly refuses to take his diabetes meds and eats crap he shouldnt and he has many of the symptoms you describe, including catatonia triggered by seemingly random things (changes every time he has an episode).

Do consult with your doctor about that possibility. Just to be sure.. who knows this could all simply be caused by your blood sugar going yo-yo on your brain.

Scented candles and a soak in the Jacuzzi, stat. More beneficial than Valium on many levels

Yup I was gonna say just this.. also by the by is the OP female? Should also maybe get a check on the Ovaries since Poly Cysticm can cause pseudo-diabetic symptoms which is why they often prescribe Metformin (diabetes meds) to people who are poly cystic....

I had that test done a year ago when I pushed the doctors to diagnose me with hypoglycemia (they didn't believe me, until I went to a doctor from the mayo clinic.)

My glucose dropped from 156 to 60 (or it may have been 180 to 65, can't remember,most likely the first) within a short amount of time. This is american mg/dl. I have been walking around with a bg in the low 50s.

It's a possibility, but I think there's a lot more. And if it is blood sugar, I'm screwed, because our cafeteria can't get it into their heads that I need to eat a certain kind of food, and they cook stuff that is absolutely disgusting. When you're depressed, there is absolutely no way you're going to eat. And I lost 7 lbs last semester from this.

But I have been catatonic without having blood sugar issues. Just scare me bad enough and there I go. I'm also overwhelmed, feel like a failure, and am about to be diagnosed with yet another serious illness, that has no cure.

But no one gets it. People don't understand. I look normal (unless I'm wandering like a zombie) and so I must be fine, right? I'm just lazy and give lots of excuses, and want attention and to be treated special.

That's a load of ********

I know for a fact that I'm not diabetic - my blood sugar goes too low on its own, by itself. It's the opposite.

College student. No jacuzzi. Showers feel like needles poking me, and candles give me blasted headaches. I need to sleep for a month - that will do it.