How to cope with problems with other people

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So I recently had an issue with my girlfriend, it was a misunderstanding and I told her that I was really worried about her. She did the worse possible thing and got another person involved to talk to me about it. This caused extreme anxiety and I just lost it. When more than one person get involved, I seem to just lose myself.

Any advice on what the heck keep happening to me in these situations?

For me, talking to more than one person at a time is overwhelming. It tugs my attention and way too much to process. If both talk I can no longer "hear" the other. Whichever I focus my attention on gets my bandwidth. Forget processing or if they toss questions in. When this happens I lose patience and become irritable and aggressive. Or sometimes panic and stress and want to cry. Just depends on the day I guess.. not entirely sure what triggers which reaction.

Either way - I avoid the "three's a crowd" as much as possible. Even if it means I feel left out at family get togethers or outings.