Burritos & Chimichangas

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Random titles aside,

This doesn't really necessitate a response, but I just wanted to type out my thoughts and make them public:

Lately, I've been spending a good amount of time dwelling on comparing the past to the present. In high school, I was a relatively popular person with a lot of friends, and I felt really great about myself. I had a girlfriend who I dated for 2 years and we were very close. I would have described myself as very outgoing and social, despite being diagnosed with Aspergers at an early age. Since graduating, I felt like a rug was pulled out from underneath me. I have no structure in my life, and I no longer have any friends. After experiencing the company of others for so long, I genuinely miss it. I don't necessarily miss my ex, but I definitely miss the companionship we had. I used to be very active and fit, but now I am sedentary 95% of the time. I understand the source of this issue completely, but I still get easily depressed about it.

I began thinking about this more after my birthday recently. People online or through text message were wishing me a happy birthday, many of whom I hadn't seen or spoken to since high school. Close to all of them were asking if I was going to go drinking (I turned 21), and that made me very upset to think that people would only care about my well being when it applied to a social activity. I pictured myself going to a bar or liquor store alone and then being intoxicated, alone. That was even more disheartening. It was like people made the assumption that I was surrounded by friends who could take me out to get drunk. Both of my brothers asked me the same question: "are you going to go get hammered?" I sat in bed reading and on the Internet like any other night.

I am the type of person who cycles back and forth between wondering if my problems and resulting depression are the bane of my existence, or if in the grand scheme of things they are completely insignificant. I don't have a need to ask 'how' or 'why' when I have a completely logical overview of my life right now. I will then conclude that it does not change the way I feel, which is depressed. Which completely sucks in itself.

P.s. I rarely find myself complaining about anything, so this post is a first for me.

Burritos and Chimichanges are both delicious. But don't allow the burritos you've eaten in the past to colour enjoyment of the chimichangas of the present or the burritos of the future.


Those burritos you ate in the past have already given you their chemical energy to your person and been removed as by product. Concern yourself with the chimichangas of the present, eat them and even if they aren't the best chimichangas you've ever eaten keep them in mind they give you the energy to move towards your future. Eat them and make the most of them.

It's time to shine, It's hero time Motherf***er.

Sweet Pea hugs

I appreciate the love, very much. It's very difficult to explain how much consolations and advice mean to me during this period of solitude; Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.