Afraid of doing things other people do.

Post Reply New Topic

Alright, so yesterday, I found out we were doing a soprt in PE that my friend on another site said they sometimes played and liked. Now, I don't often like to do things or like things my online friend, certain people at school, or even fictional characters do or like because it reminds me of them, I have these associations, and so I become afraid to do or like them.

So anyway, I got to sit out for the part of the lesson that we were doing it, but I mentioned my online friend to the teacher, and my teaching assistant found out. Also, next time i may not be so lucky.

So it's gotten to a point where I cannot do things or allow myself to do things just because they make me think of certain people. How can I help that?

Does it only happen when there is a negative association with the person ? For instance you are angry or sad for some reason when thinking about that person.

No both positive and negative. Some people I like, others I have a slight obsession with. Or both.

Maybe you want to be different? I know I have a problem with that. I feel bad about doing what everyone's doing. I have to have my own thing and if everyone else has it then it loses something it had when it was mine.

I'm not sure if that's what it is for you but could it be?

What seaturtleisland mentioned is a real tendancy among people in general, NT and AS. Maybe more so in the teens and early 20's when a person is defining themselves.

One suggestion I had concerns trying to reduce the association of an activity with a specific person. I don't think you can un-associate a person from an activity, but maybe you can dillute it.

Pick an activity and then do a short study on it. Find what you can about it on the internet, or in books. Watch it done in videos if you can find any on Youtube, etc. See who does it and where it is done. The idea being to associate a larger group with the activity and not just the original single person. Perhaps then when the time comes to do it yourself it will be a variety of things in your mind about it, closer to a more common activity, like eating, something everyone does.

Sweet Pea hugs

Well I have some good news and some bad news.

Good news: On week B's at school, when we have a different teacher, we do somehtng different instead.

Bad news: On week A's, we still have to do the first thing (I don't want to say what it is)

I have a plan of getting out of it, though. I'm often the odd one out when we have to get into pairs, so I often end up getting into a 3. I'll see if I can get into a 3 and then not play it, just keep the scores instead. I'm sure the people I'll be with won't mind.

I have 2 more times of this though - next Wednesday and the Wednesday 2 weeks after that.

I should also say that even if I get over obsessions with certain people, the fear of doing things they do or like don't always die. I used to like this boy back uin year 7 and 8, and although I went off hm eventually, I'l still a bit afraid of doing some of the things I know he's done.