I feel so fusterated

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Sometime I feel frustrated and trapped in my limitations. Sometimes I whish I can do things like NT's or even other people in the spectrum. Like for example I cant draw or write (handwriting) for the life of me and I cant be in any physical activities due to my low muscle tone and developmental delays. I also wish I could figure out things as fast as other people and not forget stuff every two seconds or be nervous. I also wish I didn't t get sensory overload every single time I go out or some times even at home. I whish I could be organized and do things by my self but I cant. I wish I didn't do and say thing that make people think Im an idot while the people that matter think Im completely fine and its all in my head and im overexaduating and expect me to be able to do everything and do it all perfectly. I constantly get compared to my NT friend and NT family members and they ask me why cant I be like them. I whish I just once knew how to act in situation and didn't feel like a blank sheet of paper ready to try to do what I think people want me to do. I just wish I had normal muscle tone and learning pace, sometime I wish I could go back to being not aware an d happy in my own little world like I mentioned in another post