So here I am, typing this message at nearly 2am in a quiet study lounge. I have a test in art history I haven't studied for, and a project in Design theory I've hardly worked on, both which need to be done tomorrow(today). Why didn't I do anything? I wish I could answer that question myself. I've already gotten bad grades on the first test, and the first quiz. Still, I just have not managed to kick myself in the pants and get some sort of work ethic going to get these things done. I mean, even now, here I am sitting and typing, wasting even more of my time here.
My mother has been pushing me to get this stuff done, chastising me for my grades in this one class. When I haven't been flat out dishonest with her, I've just hardly even managed to listen to her. She's done this sort of thing to push me forward and keep me organized for years, and I have grown to simply despise discussing my schoolwork with her. Yet all I seem to do outside class is sit and waste time. I am so frustrated with myself for not having the will to do anything but surf the internet and lay around. I'm starting to think that I should have gone to someone or somewhere for help before ever considering college. I don't know who, or where, but I want so badly to be able to manage my own affairs, and to just be able to socialize, instead of wasting my life going through the motions and sitting on my behind.
14 Mar 2013, 1:12 am
