I don't know what it is but since I turned 16, nothing has gone right. It's been 5 years and everything since that I encounter is met with the title of the post. Every time I think something is gonna actually work out for me, it blows up in my face and I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Jobs, Girls, School, Family, Friends, and even trivial stuff...nothing goes right. The worst part is that its almost like the man upstairs is playing a cruel joke on me. Everything that happens always looks good and then something incomprehensible happens that usually happens by some unbelievable odds that I cannot explain.
Just one example of what I mean:
Senior year of college, last semester and I still haven't found a true friend that's a girl, yes I do have acquaintances that I chat with about class, but that's about all it gets (no #'s, etc...) Anyway when this semester started I met this girl in my creative writing class...friendly, artistic, and beautiful. Because we were doing poetry and we had to read in front of the class, I felt this was what I needed to finally break my shell of shyness.
Anyway last month, I was down in the student lounge and me and a couple kids were shooting a Nerf-like basketball at a small hoop only it was harder and bounced more. We just got it and had to move it near the entrance because the place got a few new things that day. So we would hold the ball if someone came in and waited until they got to the carpet area of the lounge so that we wouldn't hit them. Anyway the girl came down when it was my shot and I held it and said "Hi" and asked her how her poem was coming along. She got to the carpet area and then I threw a shot up...
The ball bounced off the rim and started bouncing in her direction when it knocked her cup of coffee right out from underneath her hand. The ball seriously bounced like 4 times before it knocked the cup out. So I obviously apologized and felt really bad as everyone was laughing and I kind of nervously laughed but I thought why not make this into a positive and buy her another cup of coffee.
So after insisting that I had to get her another cup, we went to the library and we sit down and talk a little. After talking to her for about 15 minutes, I start talking about our class and the poem we have to write. Well fate would have it that we were writing a love poem for class on Thursday, which was Valentine's Day. After she asked me what my poem was about I did the same and got this:
"Well it's about my fiancee."
The odds...what are they??? Because at just this college, which I have only been to at for a couple of years (transferred after 2 years), I have gotten to know and really be interested in 3 girls. All 3 girls seem to generally like me (i.e friendly, initiates conversations with me, etc...) something that most girls don't do with me and I have to mention are way out of my league IMO. And I have been in a situation with all 3 girls where we get to know each other on a more personal level and then BAM!! !
"I'm Engaged"
It happened to me 3x in less than a year and I can't imagine the odds of that damn basketball bounced 900x and knocking her coffee out. Boy that would have been a great story to tell our kids, but nope...that's just what happens to me.
One of those other girls I had a long conversation with one day in the cpu lab when we were the only ones in there. She had a rough weekend (flat tire/ticket) and she just talked to me about it and I listened to her whole story and I think that really made her feel good, like she knew I cared. So then we started talking about other stuff and found we had a ton in common. I had noticed she had a NY Giants shirt and I complained about the loss, and to my surprise, she actually complained with me and talked with like a knowledge of football. So a girl that likes football + and then I find out she's also a Yankees fan. DING DING DING!! ! So after a ton of time talking to her about a lot of things (probably my best conversation with a girl ever), we were both getting ready to leave for class (we were in the same one). I finally had it in me to ask and I said:
"Hey *girl's name*, I've known you for over a year now since we have been in the same classes and I have wanted to ask you this since orientation, but getting to know you a lot better has made me comfortable to say that I like you and would like to know if you want to go out sometime for coffee or something."
So I poured my heart and soul and then I got the bad news...She lifts her left hand and what do you know...an engagement ring is there. She told me that she was engaged the week before, and that was her first day wearing it to school (it was a Monday btw) so I hadn't noticed it. I congratulated her and she told me that she was happy for my compliment, but things just felt brutally awkward after that encounter. While I still talk to her on occasion, this is actually the first semester that we don't have a class together.
I know this was really a long-a$$ rant but that's just a couple examples, if you even believe it, of what I am referring to. Just some food for thought: None of those 3 girls are over the age of 22.
The Incredible and Unfortunate Odds.
But that's just how it has been for me the last few years...every time it looks like I have something good going for me, it gets even worse moments later. I can tell you that it hurts really bad. I'm still not totally over the last story I told you. It just eats at you
/rant
14 Mar 2013, 2:05 am
