Rant: I'm sick and tired of this =,(

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I hate how society acts. I'm tired of being told '"Everyone goes though this, your no different" "Your just making excuses" "If you tried/ wanted to do it you could".my teachers say some people will try to be nice but I will say something "wrong " and make people angry.

I'm sick and tired of adult thinking they know it all and autism is the old stereotype with the mentally challenged, person who bangs their head against the wall and will never do anything on their own. While kids often take advance of me or don't know what to do with me. The only thing I like is that my friends are often very gentle to me. The main thing I don't like is that some of my friends often think I'm reserved.

Well I am very reserved but I also sometimes feel lonely and left out. ( Like I'm just "There")

It's like I don't fit in anywhere I have a lot of limitations and delays unlike most aspies. And I am noware near NT. Yet if I try to be with the more severe autistics I still feel like I don't fit in ( mainly because of what my grandmother says and thinks about autism and me- but still)

My grandmother and my family just doesn't understand they think im completely NT and ive been a liar and a fake. I tend to lose things and accidently break/ rip things. I'm a lot slower in working and grasping stuff but my grades are average to above average. I have the worst time weighting, even when im typing I still get cramps in my wrist and my handwriting is illegible to say the least.
I'm tired of being called liar, brat, stupid, faker, abnormal, weird, lazy, as well as other things. I'm also tired of being different. Everyone says being different is the most amazing thing in the world but there's no use being innocent, smart honest and a goody two shoes and naive if you have no one to share your knowledge and innocence with. (Most NT's are ignorant) I'm also tired of having a low self esteem and underestimating myself while at the same time being terrified and terribly awkward to be around people. If I do or say stuff that is not socially acceptable I get embarrassed. I don't want to stand out. Sometimes I also wish I had a more obvious disability. I'm tired of hiding the pain and stress. Often times I feel like butters from south park.

Sometimes I wish I could just end all this or make people understand. My grandmother is very close-minded and refuse to hear any thing about any type of disability especially autism. Like the saying goes I wish I didn't feel so much like an alien and other stuff related to that.

I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know if anything I'm about to say is going to be of any help, but you do have my sympathies. Yes, unfortunately society can be rather hostile to any sort of minority, including someone with an ASD, who threatens the status quo in some way. And I think part of the status quo in society is that it's comforting for people to think that they have a great deal of control over their lives, that we have the ability to do anything we want (within reason) if we just work hard enough, and that anyone who isn't able to keep up in some way is simply lazy or not trying hard enough. Therefore, you get people trivializing the difficulty that people with an ASD, or depression, anxiety, ADD, etc can have with functioning as well as the rest of society, and they'll say that these people are "just making excuses" and the like. Perhaps these people are simply cruel, but I imagine more often they're decent but misguided people who don't understand what it's like to have these difficulties fitting in with society, and it's just extremely disquieting for them to confront the fact that perhaps we don't have quite as great of control over our lives and who we are as we think we do. I'm sure there's a better, clearer, more concise that I could have put this.

If it makes you feel any better, you can know that you certainly aren't alone in your difficulties. I'm sure a lot of people here can relate to how you're feeling. In particular, I can relate to the idea of hanging out with friends, but just being "there" and feeling as if you're merely observing rather than participating in whatever is going on. And I know that that can be extremely frustrating and alienating. But you do have friends, and it sounds like they're good people, trying to be good friends to you as I'm sure you try to be a good friend to them, so that's one really good thing that you can take out of all of this, right?

Anyways, I don't know how much of what I said might have been helpful, and how much of it seemed like empty words/meaningless speculation, but I do hope that things improve for you.

Sounds like you have gotten a lot of abuse from people, which is not fair.
People are often intolerant of a disability that is not obvious to them, because they can't see the difficulties you have and so think the person is just being lazy/obtuse/difficult/not trying hard enough etc. Its ignorance.

An obvious disability is tolerated a lot better. A classic example is my son and our friends son. My son has classic Autism and does not speak, and is very obviously disabled. In our wider social circle and the public in general he is very well tolerated and people are generally very kind. Our friends son has Aspergers and is not tolerated at all well even though people have been told he has Aspergers. Because he can talk well they do not properly understand that he has difficulties understanding things.

Anyway I'm not sure how that helps, but I hope things get better for you.