Seriously pissed but not going to react this time

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My husband came home acting a total ass for no reason at all. He's yelling over nothing, throwing things, telling me to leave him alone, he "just can't do this anymore" yaddah yaddah yaddah. What I did was ask him what was wrong then when he said nothing I said that he didn't act or sound like it was nothing and asked what I could do to help. When he told me he was still mad at me for something I said that he took wrong yesterday (and accused me of screaming and yelling when I didn't raise my voice at all yesterday) I tried to explain that I didn't mean it like he took it (what I had done was tell him that I wanted him to apologize to our son when he got back home because of what he said to him that upset him). He threw his boots across the bedroom, threw his sandwich from the den into the garbage in the kitchen, grabbed a book and stomped off somewhere up the road. Stuck his hand in the air and told me to leave him alone.

Know what? OK, I will. Usually this kind of behavior will have me all over him trying to make up for whatever I did wrong or whatever he perceives I did wrong. I'm a take no s**t kinda gal except when it comes to feeling like I did something wrong and feeling guilt over it. If I think I've offended someone I love then it's really easy to take advantage of me because I'm trying to make things better and make up for it. This time, nope. f**k a bunch of that s**t! I didn't do anything wrong, I know I didn't, and he's just throwing this fit for attention and I'm not buying into it. Let him throw it. I won't react and he won't get whatever it is he's going for.

He will be surprised, because I usually turn into a big old ball of worry and apologies, but I have nothing to apologize for.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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Yaay!! ! You go, girl. I think our husbands must be related somehow. When mine acts like that, I think of it as his "period". I think what he's doing is called "gaslighting", after some old movie called Gaslight where it was a plot device. He's trying to give you a false perception of events or reality so that he can manipulate you.

Good for you for standing your ground and keeping your cool and now let's hopes that sanity will prevail.

Sometimes I think Hubby is trying to gaslight me, too. That's exactly the term I use.

I don't think it's intentional. At least in his case. It's just that he's a crazy insecure NT and I'm a crazy insecure Aspie and his job is crazy stressful and my existence can be crazy stressful and it gets out of hand.

Good for you on leaving him alone. Leave him alone, let him be pissed.

After all, sometimes that's the best thing to do with me. Going after me and trying to make it up or get to the bottom of it or whatever can be the Meltdown Superhighway.

Ugh. Men. Anybody else for setting up a Red Tent????