How to live and communicate with my partner

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I'm really looking for some help and support in how to deal with my partner. I am finding it really difficult to communicate with him. We are going through the process of getting our son diagnosed with ASD and through that I have found out that my partner most likely has Aspergers.

He is very quiet in the company of others and cannot make social conversation, even though I try and give him ideas as to what to say. If he is asked a question its a yes/no answer with no "and"

I ask him to help me out with doing stuff around the house and he literally just does what I ask and does not seem to be able to think about why I have asked that. (That might just be a male thing too)

When we have arguments he cannot tell me why he has said things or why he is feeling a certain way - its either "I don't know" or slience.

I'm going through a tough time at the moment myself and could do with some support but he just doesn't seem to get it.

I've asked what he needs to help me to be able to communicate with him better but he can't give me the answer. If I don't give him enough detail he takes it literally and if its too much, "I'm not a child"

Help please as I am very exhausted and tired and don't know what to do

There's not a lot I can say that's helpful, but - from his point of view - this is all new to him. He's spent a lifetime struggling to get by, working on the assumption that everyone else is a lot like him. Now, he must adjust to the idea of autism. It's too late for him, he's not going to change much, but there's hope for your child. It'll be hard for him to see now, but there may be hope for your relationship as well.

Be greedy with whatever support you can find, stay sane, and do the best you can. It's not all bad - they say the UK has the world's best support for autistics and their families.

You might get some books on Asperger's to figure out what is likely to be related to his disability and what isn't.

People with Asperger's are considered to have a disability because they have difficulty picking up non-verbal communication--doesn't matter how many hints you give--it is like putting written signs in front of someone who is totally blind and can't tell whether is is daytime/nightime. Doesn't matter that the average person would figure it out in an instant.

If you are exhausted and tired you may need to prioritize what you do to get more rest.