Need to whine

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I of course don't have anyone in real life to do my whining to so.........
My 24 y/o son went off his schizophrenia meds a few months back. He was living with his father, stepmother, two step sibs.

He kept getting more and more angry, arguing with strangers etc until he allegedly "hit" his stepmother, she called the cops hoping he would be placed in a mental health facility. Instead he went to jail, the jail and all concerned kept giving us the runaround, no meds in jail at all, only meds their professional deemed necessary after an evaluation, yes an evaluation would be done, no, the judge will order an eval, no, his public defender would send an investigator, get him out, leave him in, etc etc etc.

His dad couldn't get him out and take him home because of the domestic violence charge, and he is too cheap to find him a place to live, I kept telling them both last year, sign up for voc rehab, work on getting disability. Now that he is out, taking minimal meds that still leave him so angry, and living with a friend, he won't tell me where, my ex won't speak to me because I said he couldn't live in this little piece of sh** town with me because I have no money, no transportation, and the medical psychiatric care here is a joke (all this my ex agreed with months and months back), but let the sh** hit the fan and all my ex wanted to do was get him away.

So I am the bad guy. My son, when he does talk to me, berates me for everything, blames everybody on and on and on. I have to finish what I am doing in the hopes that a decent job is waiting for me, but I am drowning, overwhelmed by everything, all these little things keep going wrong in what I am doing and it just keeps feeling like I am getting knocked on my ass over and over again.

I know I have to keep together to be any good for my son in the future, but jeez.... Stupid sh** makes me want to cry I am so stressed. Mistakes on my resume, some forms someone else filled out wrong, idiots in accounting telling me I owe money and giving me BS reasons took hours and hours to figure out because they couldn't explain it.

People who are getting paid to do the financial stuff, the paperwork, the resume review, all just slacking so bad and then I have to spend three times as much time as it should take to get things straightened out. I used to think my life mattered because of my kids, one rants at me, the other talks to me every great while when he wants something then goes off on me if I don't do what he wants, then refuses to speak to me for months and months.

I am busting my ass taking classes that are so hard, am so near the end, and today finally getting feedback regarding my resume, am told by a potential employer that the space is wrong. GOD, when there is a person being paid to make sure our resumes are good before they go out, who just lets things slide, It's so frustrating to be held accountable, when all these other people being paid to do things certainly aren't accountable, it's "oh well, what you can you do about it?".

Running around to get forms signed that my adviser created, and learning they aren't right, hell she didn't even give me both forms, just two copies of the same form. I was so hoping for ajob, now feel like a complete idiot having sent out resumes that aren't great, again, having had them ok'd by someone who gets paid to look them over. I know I am repeating myself, but this helps.

Too often when I am stressed I think about all the people I have listened to carry on about their crap, knowing that if I called them to whine, they would blow me off, or worse, tell me I deserve all this crap. Then I feel bitter and so resentful, which makes things so much worse. Then I fall into this self pity mode, and today actually started crying, so I thought I would come here and unload. Feeling better already.