a short vent into nothing

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I had to sit through an hour and a half of stupidity today. I have to do this every monday and wednesday. But today it wasn't just stupidity. My professor said a bunch of offensive, dumb things about suicide and people who think about it, and even made a joke about it as class was ending. It's extremely rare that I feel hate for anyone. Today I really hated this guy. But as usual, I can't tell anyone about stuff or they'll run away. If I told an average person about this guy they'd probably think I'm the one with the problem and maybe I should be watched for suicide signals. But I'm tired right now, not physically, but mentally - kind of burnt out, and I can't seem to get a real break or anyone acknowledging what I go through. I keep 75% of my life to myself because people seem to get lost pretty quickly, not understanding things, make judgements without enough info, or they're intimidated. I feel like no one wants to really know me or that people are afraid to or are also/even afraid just to touch me. I feel like such a leper sometimes.

What did he say?

Among other things, He said "if you meet someone who wants to commit suicide, you should sit them down and tell them that they're delusional."

He said they should be told that "nothing matters that much," which comes from an ignorant belief that someone would commit suicide merely because they get a bad grade or something equally ultimately inconsequential. It was a significant block of him talking, so I can't paraphrase it all. The essence was that people who contemplate suicide are somehow being ignorant or are "crazy."

And we have a paper due next week, so his "joke" at the end was, "turn in your papers next week or I'll commit suicide."

If I weren't already so disillusioned, I would have been pretty horrified and gone to my DRC to tell someone, but like I said I'm kind of burnt out and I don't even want to risk getting caught up in more stuff to single me out.

I've attempted suicide, and I laughed.
Your professor is right, stop taking s**t so seriously.

If you feel suicidal the last thing you are able to do is see the funny side of anything

Poetic justice would be for (just) the stupid lecturer to be mown down by a suicidal student

People who make light of suicide like this rarely ever feel like doing it and often cause others to want to do it

they are thick-skinned idiots

Follow your own advice. And I take it seriously more on behalf of others. I'm not going to kill myself. It's impossible. My "suicide" is a concept. If I weren't so bloody smart (and incredibly arrogant sometimes) something like that would make me want to do it, so I assume other people are vulnerable and that he's a danger to outliers like kids with AS, who I can get really protective of.







Word. They should fire this guy for his own protection. Also, this guy's son committed suicide and he said in class that he was glad his son did it.