The strangest thing happened today...

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I've been overwhelmingly depressed the past few months. My eyes are perpetually swollen and red from so many nights of crying, and some days it feels like I have nothing to live for. Most of my time is spent lying in bed, dreaming of leading any other life, while the hours waste away. I don't see my friends anymore, as socializing has become too foreign and painful to handle. Some days, I honestly wonder if the struggle is worth it, and the debate plays constantly in my mind.

But today, I caught myself off guard.

While washing my hands in the restroom, I looked at myself in the mirror... and I smiled. I don't know what overcame me or brought it on, but I couldn't stop smiling. I even laughed a little at the realization of how silly the whole situation was; that smiling could be such a shocking thing for me to do. I normally detest my smile, but today, I thought it was beautiful. Nothing had changed.

I guess I'm writing this because I want to let everyone know that, no matter how bad things are, or how bad they could be, continue to look for reasons to smile. Even if its only for a moment, that smile could turn your day around. Depression and anxiety can be hard to overcome, but if we take the time to appreciate those glimpses of happiness that appear amidst the grey, we can hold onto those moments and feel hope that maybe, there's a chance we'll feel like smiling tomorrow as well.

That's really a good thing to share: helped me deal with tonight's pain. Thanks.
Hope your grayness subsides as it seems to be doing.

This makes me happy, it's a great story and I'm glad to hear this happened to you. It's you catching yourself feeling how you were meant to feel, as you have every right if not every reason to feel.

If I'm feeling depressed, I've started reminding myself that the depression is a kind of misinformation; that something in my brain is lying to me and that I wouldn't otherwise feel that way. It seems to help, especially if I can manage to do something like you did and smile. Once the clouds lift, the brain tends to like to go on feeling good.

That is a good way to look at it.

After spending so many months with a grey filter in my eyesight, I had acclimated to feeling so low. Tonight reminded me that just because I've felt like that, doesn't mean I necessarily am supposed to. We all have the right to happiness, sometimes we just have to look a little harder to find it, and remember that it's all around us regardless of what our 'filter' let's us see.



I'm glad I was able to help. I realized that, while sharing our woes and struggles can create a sense of togetherness and mutual understanding, our moments of liberation from depression are equally as important to share. I hope the grey lifts away for you as well!