I thought,...

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I thought this would be about having one friend in 24 years of life and her realizing that she can do way better then you and let's you know about it daily. I thought this would be about your co workers going out every day after work and never asking you to go and giving you the worst shift every week. I thought this was about watching your family members get married and you being asked to be the best man because they know you will be the DD and will not have anything to do that night. I thought this will be about the best day of your life being used as a weapon to hurt you. I thought this would be about telling your family you able to do something and them not believing in you at all when if you say you can't do something they have full trust you can. I thought is was about being all your ex girlfriends coming out of the closet and only dated you because they knew you would never do anything. I thought this was about living at home because you do not make enough to move out, being in the smallest room with no way out, being bich at by your folks for how messy the house in when its your brothers stuff. I thought this will be about owning a cell phone with every number in it restaurants. I thought this would be about putting your plans off so you can do something with your family/friends just to have it never happen and them not seeing why this is a big deal or you getting fed up and yelled at for doing it because you should have waited for them. I thought this would be about the burning pain you feel each and every day as you star at the 6 dating sites you pay for monthy and have messages no matter how many you send out. I thought this post will be about my father yelling at me for telling him he yelled at me....I think this post is about me wanting a friend and a hug.

<hugs> I never know the right thing to say, but I know how it can hurt.

Just had a long talk with my father... He feels I am in the wrong about everything and the only thing I could do to help him/ enjoyed doing with him he gave up on because he felt I failed him...

Sometimes the only thing to do is to create some distance, somehow. It's hard when there isn't understanding, but remember you get one life to live.

(((hugs))) Don't really know what else to say either, but...I'm here if you want to talk more. I can listen, even in print.

and where can I find that life? Junk job. One friend whom I am 89% sure is done with me today and a family that does not understand me at all.

This is what I did. Moved away, worked plenty of dead end jobs until I found one that could cover a roof over my head and food in the fridge. I did it as a single mom. It was hard and lonely, but it provided some peace.
I'm not assuming this is appropriate for your circumstances. Just saying it's an option.

I'm deleting all my accounts and shutting off my cell. The world has shown me I am not wanted and I am not the type of person to stay around when not needed. No this is not me saying I am going to take my own life. This is me saying I won't go out in the world, my four walls will be my world and hopefully a place I can say I am welcomed.

Just remember not to shut out the possibility of finding those worthwhile people out there. It can feel like a rarity, but they do exist.

again..24 years...one "friend" who has just told me she is moving on and I should too. Leaving me no line to the outside world but my job...my job where I am 12 years older then the kids and 30 years younger then the adults.

Don't measure yourself against other people. You are where you are, but try not to attach judgement there. It doesn't have to define you. As for losing your friend, that's hard. As much as it hurts, don't convince yourself she's the only friend you'll find. It sucks that she feels that way, but there's someone out there who can understand.

Well it is done. I am cut off from the world besides this site.

Just a fun update. Was over at my friend's house (yes that friend) playing her wiiu when she asked me to leave. Turns out she she invited her new pal over for a booty call. The guy she found that is just like me but less pathetic needed her to drive over, pick him up and take him back to her place. I asked why did she invite me over if she was waiting on a booty call she responded " you were made a comment about us not hanging much anymore and felt sorry for you"


This one has a back sorry.

I've always wanted to go on a cruise and finally picked a 12 day itlay trip. I had everything picked out and set up, all I had to do was hang over my credit card. But as soon I was about to my folks wanted to come so I had to wait as they made sure they could pay for it. Prices jumped $400. Okay no big $400 more for a trip of a life time is nothing. Alright a week later I am all set and will be booking it the next day...then my folks friends want to join....a week again prices go up $300... Okay painful but I planed to add the $300 to my folks card as payment for planing a whole cruise(including filling out passport papers for them, finding the perfect airfare and hotel) so I booked the ship and watched the airfare go up and down,waiting for the right time to jump on it..at the same time I book the hotel rooms and start research on the shore trips. Well even though this was my trip and I have had everything ready my folks and their friends decide to meet with a travel agent. She gets on my case for not using an agent to book the cruise and feels strongly we chancel it and book it with her. They all said yes I said no. Turns out if We did it would it would have cost us another $500 (lucky I had all the booking codes and did not let them) but they did book hotels and airfare with her (airfare I found cheaper and with better times) not only I wasted a ton of time planing it. Now my dad spend a night yelling at me trying to get an Itinerary something I've given him 5 times already but not good enough it seems. They all have drained every single drop of fun planing this trip. They have taken my trip of a life time and made it about them.if any of it was refundable I would.

Also my brother poped the question and she said yes so good him. I am now the only family member not married and already getting the "when is it your turn" talks..

Yikes. I'd put my foot down, personally. Let your family know that if you're organizing the trip, they need to step back or else make their own arrangements on their own. I know it's easier said than done, but it's a matter of prioritizing. Finding a way to enjoy company, but not letting them hijack the joy of taking that dream vacation.

I agree. They had no business inviting themselves in the first place. What they did to you was selfish and inexcusable.

Same goes for your "friend." That was really sh**ty of her.

I don't blame you for cutting off most contact with the world, but glad you're still here. Keep talking when and if you need/want to.

Round three! I promise I am not making this up.

Boss wants me to stop talking to one of the kids about retro games/anime because I am taking her away from her socializing time.

My sister is moving back home. Why Bad you ask?she has been a stranger in my life for the past six years. She is only nice is she needs something AND has started some major fights here.