Help...

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I have depression. I've had suicidal thoughts before and don't think I'll ever have a future.
The only way I communicate with people is through the computer, because I do not like to go out and my whole body hurts from walking.
I used to go to school before but the principal kept saying I had mental problems which needed to be sorted out, and treated me in a different way than others.
Lack of disposition, problems with learning and bullies made everything worse, too.
My self-esteem is very low. Nobody seems to care about me or my feelings; in fact, even my brother says I am worthless and should act more like a person.
Mother is always working and cleaning the house. She also has a bunch of health issues.
I can not help her with anything, my body is too weak to even move sometimes, and am always sleeping.
I've always had trouble eating... I have no appetite. Everyone thinks it's me that does not want to eat, but that's not true at all.
The only friend I have is from the Internet and it's been a month or so since I've last seen him.
He is one of the best people I've ever met, but I have lost hope now and am sure that he does not want to talk to me any more.
The Internet isn't all good, either. I was bullied for years by a group of girls. One of them said I might have Aspergers.
It does seem like it, but it's hard to get a decent psychiatrist these days...

Hi. Sorry you feel that way. I get down sometimes, too. Here is the link to the National Suicide Hotline and the Hotlines for every state. It also contains resources and info for youths at risk. Good luck.

http://suicidehotlines.com/

Hey Wyudd! I'll be your friend if ya want, You can always talk to me if you need

Please talk to your mother about this. You are not alone and the worse thing about it is that you (and people in this situation) isolate yourself emotionally because you fear it would break the few good relationships you have or that you will be a burden to a loved one. That is far from the truth. Those that love and care about you will stand with you.

They may not always know how to help you best and yes, they might make mistakes but they will be there. Your brother is just being what most siblings do when they do not know how much you are hurting and only see the you that you allow them to see. I guess the best way to put it is they can only react to what they see.

Talk to your mother about your thoughts of harming yourself, be open and tell her everything. Tell your brother also... sit down with him, hug him and tell him. I can guarantee you he will be surprised at how much he did not know and he will help you. He is your brother.

It is important you speak to someone about this. It can change your life. It can save it. The sooner the better.

I have a friend whom I've known since she was a little kid. My sister and I have been sort of her older brother and sister (we're both 16+ years older than her) since she was an only child and she always had trouble making friends. She grew very close to us and had always considered me her best friend.. and I never knew that she was being horribly abused by her boyfriend (this was between age 12 and 15) both physically and emotionally. She kept it all to herself...she harmed herself and even tried to kill herself twice. And I never knew. One day she was in my house as I was building her a new computer and her BF begun texting her horrible things and she broke down crying... it was only then that I knew of this and I was the first person she ever told about this.

This is why I'm sharing this with you: She spoke out... and within 3 weeks time we had mobilized heaven and earth to make sure that boy never came close to her again. A month later her anxiety and nervous breakdowns went away. Two months after that she found a new BF that makes her very happy and today she is the happiest girl on earth. If she had not spoken out she would have remained with that monster. Her relationship with her mom improved so much she can't believe it even today. Love beats hardships.

Your problems are obviously different than hers but the solution is the same: Talk to your mom. Talk to an adult about this. You've taken a great first step to speak out here and it takes courage to do that. Please take one more step and talk to your mother.

It will get better after you do it. You will feel better and things will start to improve little by little. Be strong and seek help. You deserve it and you deserve better.

I am going through the same thing

if you cant ask verbally write a note

it worked for me