I'm Finally Doing It

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I am here with my bag of oleander small mug of warm water waiting to end it all.
Well I have two bags one small old one and this freshly picked bunch. To those that can relate wish me luck!
I really hope it works!

I highly advise that you do not go through with it. First of all death does not have the answer (this is comming from someone who has been suicidal in the past, repeatedly).
Second, you are not likely to suceed in killing your self, but just making your self very very sick in a very nasty unpleasent way. The GI system is very good at getting rid of bad things. Plus there are nasty long term side effects. It is not worth it.
Call a suicide hotline. If you have drank any of your tea please call the emergancy room.
Your life does matter, even when everything seems dark and painful.

If you want out now there are much more sucessful methods. self poisoning has abysmal success rates and leads to more long term serious health problems as well as obligatory visits to psych hospitals.

jumping off a building no less than 14 stories, shooting yourself in the head, slitting your throat, shooting your heart, proper wrist slitting. These are also quicker and involve less suffering for you (except for throat and wrist slitting but bleeding out is generally considred better than the messed up internal organ gunk that comes from poisenings). These are messy but more garenteeded than poisening with a week poisen. It is not ricin (still a nasty painful way to go). You are just going to torture yourself, not kill yourself. Especially as it does not sound like you have concentrated necter. You are just going to get very sick and missereable and live.

What do you want from us?