I think I am getting Agoraphobia

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I always thought I had traits of Agoraphobia, but now I am worried that it is developing into another debilitating co-morbid.

I can walk to and from work all right because it's only a short walk, but otherwise I am finding walking in the street extremely hard. I'm OK when there is nobody about, but as soon as I see somebody (especially another female) coming towards me, I inwardly have mild panic attacks; my tummy gets butterflies and I have a shortness of breath. I know it's because I have got myself into a vicious cycle:-

''If I make eye contact they might think I'm staring so they will stare back at me, then they might glare and make me feel worse about myself and leave me wondering what I have done, but if I don't look at them then I look nervous especially if I concentrate too hard on looking away, but if I look ahead they might expect me to look at them since it's something humans are supposed to do naturally so I feel obliged to do something I find so hard''.

Part of it is from bad experiences, like a lot of times I have smiled at people and they gave me evil glares, so that has put me off of smiling at people now, and I prefer to just walk along without making eye contact with anybody, but then it makes me feel awkward. So now I have gotten myself into this trap of anxieties and can't get myself out of it and it's now causing Agoraphobia. I don't want to end up like this.

I am on the waiting list for one-to-one CBT (a type of CBT where I can sit with someone as we go through it each session, because I find that better than reading books). But the waiting list is long so I was told I will be waiting, so I don't know what to do. I have spoken to some close NTs about it but they think I'm being silly, probably because eye contact with strangers comes natural to them. Has anyone else here suffered with this kind of thing and how did you overcome it?

Oh Joe, please please get that treated before it turns into full blown agoraphobia. I had it for several years and it was horrible. I couldn't leave my house alone for a few years and even with someone (either my husband or mother) I'd still get panic attacks. I went to several different therapists (psychologists, psychiatrists, social worker therapists, two different guys who hypnotized me one of which was a Baptist preacher which I thought was odd) and tried many different meds and the only thing that worked, finally, was Xanax. Looking back I see that if I had done something about it when it started, it would have been so much easier to treat.

I hope you can get this treated. (((hugs)))

I feel similar. I don't know what to in many social situations and also feel weird passing people like you described. That's good you're on a waiting list, I just hope the list isn't too long. All I can suggest is what I try based on the accepted protocal. I like to smile at each person, because i have trouble recognizing people and don't want someone I'm supposed to recognize think I'm being rude. However, that can invite unwanted attention in the wrong communities. I would suggest stare straight ahead like you are looking at your destination in the distance as you pass each person. At least I found that's what works around here.

A suggestion about eye contact - sunglasses. Sometimes I get uncomfortable passing people because I don't know where to look. I usually glance at them and nod but it can feel uncomfortable at times. I just put on a big pair of sunglasses and that way nobody knows where I'm looking. I still nod but it's a lot easier than having to remember to either not stare or to remember to look at them.

I do normally wear sunglasses, but only when it's sunny. When it's dull or getting dark (it's very unusual of me to be walking out when it's completely dark), I can't always see properly and feel rather claustrophobic. I find it easier to walk in the rain because people are usually huddled under an umbrella or have their hood up or whatever, so they don't always expect you to look at them, so it gives you an excuse to look down or look ahead as though you are rushing to get out of the rain. That seems ''socially understandable'', especially when you're a female and you don't want your hair getting wet.

Anyway, back on topic, I like to wear sunglasses if I am waiting at a bus stop in a busy street because when people are walking by and I'm standing there I never know which way to look when people walk by, I feel that if I am just looking past them they might think I'm looking at them so then they stare and it then makes me feel uncomfortable. So secretly when I have sunglasses on and I'm standing somewhere, I can close my eyes and they can think what they want. Also I believe my facial muscles relax a little when I gently close my eyes, because I am unaware that they might be staring, as I believe strongly in the saying ''what the eyes don't see, the heart don't grieve''. I will try this too when walking past people with sunglasses on, I can carry on looking ahead but I can look away with my eyes so it doesn't look obvious to other people that I am concentrating too hard on looking away and so it doesn't make it so awkward.