What is asexual?

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What does it feel like? If sex is irritating and headache-inducing and often doesn't climax, does that count as asexual?

asexual is having no desire to have sex

It's different for different people. Some have no sexual arousal at all. Some have arousal from non-sexual thoughts. Some have some attractive arousal, but only enough to masturbate and are turned off by the idea actual sexual intercourse. I'm a combination of the latter two. It's an awkward thing that I'm really self-conscious about as I know people will think I'm lying, making excuses, think I'm a closeted gay, a closeted pedophile, or something else that I am not. I hate it and really wish I was normal.

I'm asexual most of the time, but occasionally the chemical balance in my brain gets disrupted and I become moderately heterosexual for a few days. I prefer to be asexual though. I don't like it when my brain's chemical balance gets disrupted.

What about if it's just irritating and annoying and causes headaches? And like "when will this annoying process be over?" Is that the same thing as asexual, or is asexual just having a dead feeling?

I don't think so. If you were truly asexual you probably wouldn't be able to at all.

asexuals can have sex they just dont have a desire to do so

Okay, maybe some can. I have big doubts that I could just to please somebody. I was never sexually abused or anything either.

That rather sounds like a physiological problem, or a physiological problem caused by something psychological.

I wouldn't think that guys who are asexual would be able to have sex if they don't have a desire to. I wouldn't think they would be able to get it up.

It depends on your definition of asexual. If you can have an autoerotic fetish and still be asexual as long as you aren't aroused by or sexually attracted to other people then an asexual person can easily experience arousal.

Yeah, that's a good point. It's just the process that is often unpleasant. The desire (sometimes) and physical stuff is all there, unless imagining a headache kills the desire. If it involves something like BDSM, then it's much better. It's just regular romantic stuff that is very uncomfortable. But choking her or having her stick me with a knife and draw blood is pretty good!! lol I can be both equally S or M. But this often isn't directly sex, right? At least in my experience it goes a long with it; but it's different.

I've never met a partner as extreme as me though. I don't attract that kind of partner I guess. It doesn't work unless she has good sadistic instincts, which most women do not. It's too bad I'm not gay. It would be much easier to find a crushingly strong partner who could be a sadist.

Here's my question: If you want sex, but never feel any attraction to an actual individual person, would you call that asexual? Or how would you define it?

Okay, since this thread has already gone into weird territory I'll give the blunt answer in my case. I guess what I am is mildly hetero-erotic but asexual. I find good looking women attractive but it's never in my life been enough to bring on an orgasm. Plus the idea of sticking my member in any kind of hole sounds disgusting and completely turns me off. I'm pretty sure I haven't been abused or had anything done to cause this. The only way I can orgasm is with embarrassingly strange and kinky fetish thoughts that don't involve any sexual intercourse.

That's me. I've had an orgasm while fantasizing that I was a snake and various other species but I don't feel sexual attraction to other people. I still consider myself to be asexual in the context of orientation. As a sexual orientation I define asexual as not being attracted to other people sexually regardless of their gender. I can still have an auto-erotic fetish that doesn't involve people even if I don't feel sexual attraction to other people or desire to have sex with them. The point is that I'm not attracted to other people. That's it.

What if you could impose a fetish on another person?

I don't really get off on normal porn which I find boring. But if weird fetish materials are involved I love it. In some cases, the fetish is more important than the gender of the people involved.