rant about frustration with parents

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Maybe I should wait to post about this another time when I'm in a better mood & thought it all over & lot more but I feel like posting now even thou it may not make much sense. I'm not posting for advice; I just started typing to help me feel better but opinions & advice offered would be welcomed if anyone wants.

I'm really frustrated with my parents rite now. I'm so glad I moved away from them to be with my girlfriend, I talk to my parents on the phone about 3 nights a week but I haven't been home sense Christmas. I still don't have my computer, my chinchilla or anything I couldn't take on a bus up here. I wasn't able to deal with shipping my stuff up here during xMas for various reasons. My parents told me that 1ce it get snowing here they would come up here & bring my chinchilla & computer. That's the stuff I want & need so I figured I would go down again to ship the rest of my stuff up here awhile after my parents would come visit. We quit having snow up here awhile ago but parents delayed & now they tell me they cant come till September or October. They don't want to be gone a while during Hurricane season in Louisiana & dad's suddenly too busy with work to come up here now. They had specifically told me that they would come up here & bring my computer & chinchilla 1ce it quit snowing here & now they're saying September/October. That's more than 3 months away. I would not be surprised if they cant do it then because something would come up & then it would be snowing too much for them to want to drive up here so it will be delayed till next summer. I've really been missing my chinchilla & computer. If I would of known that they wouldn't come up here till after summer I would of planned to go down a couple months ago & shipped my computer & other stuff up here instead of waiting around for them. I don't want to wait another 3 ducking months just to get the runaround again from them. I feel lied too & I'm upset about having to go another 3 months at least without having my chinchilla up here.

There's lots of other issues going on between me & my parents. I've had problems getting along with them my whole life & we've had LOTs of arguments. How I feel & think fluctuates sometimes because I alternate between being upset with them for things & feeling sympathetic to them & blaming myself for problems I must be causing them. I have some Borderline Personality Disorder traits & I'm beginning to realize that maybe some those were a direct result of my parents. My girlfriend has been offering her perspective on my parents & our relationship. My parents don't understand me or my issues & they don't try to sometimes. They aren't direct. They change plans often & are very inconsistent with me. They say things to annoy me which triggers me in to Aspie meltdown or a lesser form. They switch & have alternating attitudes towards me; they go on about how I'm lazy & don't want to work & don't help out around the house but other times when they have work they want me to help with they go on about how I've been working really hard & am really helpful but then it suddenly switches back to me being lazy;'this happens with lots of other things too.
I think I'm starting to realize that I'm not the problem my mom has told me I was sometimes when we're having a fight & I also realize that I'm NOT selfish & incapable of caring about anyone but myself like mom has also told me various times throughout my life. The real problem is/was people not getting my disabilities & issues & I was in the wrong environment. I should quit letting the stuff my parents said & say influence me, Now I need to figure out how to let go & make peace with myself

I bought the bus tickets to go down today. I'm only able to stay with them a week because of scheduling. I'll be there from June 23rd to the 30; it takes 2 days by bus to travel each way. I asked my parents when I was on the phone yesterday about when would be good for me to come down & they said it didn't matter as long as I came in on a weekend & left on a weekend because dad didn't want to miss work to pick me up from the bus stop & bring me back; my mom doesn't like driving in New Orleans. where the Greyhound station is. My dad works in construction & is self-employed & he works by himself a lot even thou there are other works there but he's doing his own task. He could chose to leave for work a little earlier & stay a little latter 2 weeks to make up the time from missing work to pick me up & bring me or he could chose to work 2 weekend days to make it up but he doesn't want to change his work schedule for me. Lots of times he's not bothered about missing work to go to New Orleans when there's something he wants to do there but because it' concerns me work is his priority.

When I was on the phone last night mom was insistent about how she wanted me to stay in for 2 weeks so I could help her with some house work & she went on about how helpful I am with that stuff. Last week when I was on the on with her she went on about how I'm lazy & didn't want to go get a job. I used to think I was a different person mentally sometimes like suspected I could have multiple personalities or borderline personality because of the way mom's attitude towards me can do an opposite flip different days. I told her when I was on the phone that I couldn't stay for 2 weeks because I have things going on up here like appointments & told them what the dates were for at least the 4th time sense I made them like a month ago. I emailed her my itinerary for my trip 1ce I bought my ticket online today. She emailed me back wanting me to reschedule my trip so I could stay down 2 weeks which won't work because of my appointments that I told her last night I had. Her & dad have a nack for tuning out, not remembering or interrupting what I say sometimes. In the last email I sent her tonight I mentioned how I have appointments & the dates & said how they had to be made over a month in advance so trying to change them would be a real pain, dad won't miss work so I can only be picked up & brought to the bus station on a weekend, & I then said how last night they were quick to mention how they couldn't come up here because of their obligations & things that needed to be done before they would come down but they refuse to consider mine. I said in the 1st email I sent mom today which was my itinerary that I would call her tomorrow night so as of right now I guess I will but I'm not looking forward to it.

I don't want to be there for 2 weeks so I can help with housework.Me & mom may work together OK at 1st but after a while we have a fight. It's worse if it involves my dad because he's picky & kind of contorting sometimes about how I'm doing things. Me & mom think he could have Obsessive Compulsive Personality. He ask for opinions so he can criticize why their wrong.

I felt like a burden living there sense I was little. When me & mom got into bad verbal fights she would sometimes threaten to send me to military school or juvi, put me in foster care or kick me out on the street. She was probably saying that stuff to me out of anger or as a scare tactic but it only made things worse for both of us. It got better after I became an adult but mom still went on alot sometimes about how I'm so lucky to have her as a parent because most would of lickecd their kid out after high-school & instead of letting their lazy kids live with & be so dependent on them so they wouldn't have to work & mooch off of tax payers. I guess mom was acting out over frustration about my issues but I feel really unwanted & sometimes unloved

It's soo great to finally be out of that hostile environment & be with someone who understands my issues, makes me feel wanted, needed & loved & to start realizing that I'm not this horrible person I felt like I was because of being forced to live with my parents.

I'm just so frustrated about all this cr@p rite now