I have been ruminating about the past and it hurts

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I have been ruminating a lot about past events that have made me mad or embarrassed. A lot of it happened when I was in high school (I am now 23) and at work. I think of all the times I got laughed at at school or work. Once at work I guess I was doing something with my hands and I guy thought I was "drumming". I have been told that at my old job people were "blah" about me, what ever that is supposed to mean. At my new job I have been laughed at before because I was struggling to do tasks because of a lack of training. These thoughts are distressing and I can't stop thinking about them. I will post more if I think of more, but I don't really like thinking about it that much.

You need to think about other things. I know that sounds like useless advice, but... how about



THIS?

I know it's cheesy.

Ruminating=bad. As hard as it is, you really need to find a way to distract yourself from it. It doesn't solve anything, and you'll just work yourself into a system overload.
If you've just started a new job, it might just be miserable for the first few months. Once you get into your groove, no one will remember the slip ups anyway. It just might be looming larger in your mind than it will ever effect you in reality.
I've never worked at a place that didn't include a little good-natured ribbing. If it goes beyond that, you just have to stay strong and tell yourself that they're probably idiots anyway.

Another thing to I just remembered is at my first job when I told people I was going to university they seemed surprised, as if they thought I was some kind of simpleton incapable of going to university.

Were the people you were trying to impress really worth impressing?

I never said I was trying to impress them, I am just relaying their impression of me.

The fact that you seem to be dwelling on it makes it seem like the impression you make on others is important to you.

I know the feeling; I get random blasts of embarrassing memories making me feel like I want to punch myself in the face to make it stop.

For what it’s worth, I got into the habit of maintaining a journal (in electronic format, of course). I write down all my thoughts (both good and bad).

I found that by writing things down, I am able to let go of those thoughts (because I have them “written down”). And, I can move on to other things. It's quite therapeutic.

No the feelings I feel when I think about what other's think of me is important to me.

I actually do the same, albeit in old fashioned pen-to-paper format. Usually I don't ruminate, but since I go laid off two months ago I am stuck doing nothing right now and can't help but think. I do things like read, go for a walk, listen to music, etc., but I can only occupy my mind for so long.