Don't see much hope in my future, just more misery.

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OK, so it looks like I won't be graduating from med school. I was a good student in college(magna cum laude), and got mostly A's in the first half of med school as well, but things have taken a turn for the worse, in part due to family issues. I've been in therapy for over 2 years and tried 6 different kinds of medications for depression, anxiety, and ADHD. I'm still not able to concentrate well enough to pass the final exam needed to graduate, though I was able to get through all the other exams before that. I don't know what to do with my life. My dad has been supportive and tells me that there are other options even if I don't pass, but I have no idea how my life will turn out or whether I will ever contribute to society in a useful way. Also, I am currently staying overseas with relatives. My uncle is nice and supportive, but my aunt can be very overbearing, and not in a helpful way. She is likely to pick at me even more when she finds out I'm probably not finishing med school, which I am afraid will make my depression worse. I'm really not looking forward to my future. I'm not even sure what will happen in the next few days, let alone the next few months.

I think you need to make passing that exam your sole focus right now, and do whatever it takes to achieve that. If you need to eat better, have loads of alone time, get out and ride a bike everyday, study at routine times, and stay away from things that over stimulate you or stress you, then do it. And changing medicines is bound to cause anyone to feel destabilized.

Look at the challenges of this particular exam. What is it that's giving you the most trouble? Talk to your instructor and let him know you want to pass this; maybe there's some study material that could be provided. I know if you're Dx'd, it may be possible for you to obtain the master notes for the exam also.

You've come a long way. You need to stretch out and grab this thing. It's doable. Keep us posted!

I know that feel. I felt like that a little while ago. All I can tell you is what people told me at that time: It'll eventualy get better. There will be a future for you, just like there was for me. I hope that you're a bit less stubborn than I am and actually believe this, but of course I can't force you to think in a more positive way.

The thing is, you are definitely not alone in having anxiety about that exam. Everyone else is in the same boat and it is normal to have these fears. Personally, I would do as one of the other posters said and concentrate all of your efforts on passing it. I also tend to think that if you do not, you will likely have a second chance as it is a long period of study required for med school and I can't imagine there not being a mechanism in place to try and get you full value out of your education should you screw up the first time. Lots of people will fail that exam, but lots will make it up on the retest.

First of all, let me say I'm very sorry about your aunt, living with people who are critical and overbearing can be really difficult. Don't worry about not ever contributing to society, because you will. If you have the desire to help others, you will find a way to achieve it, just smiling at someone can make a difference in their lives. Just do the best you can to pass your exam. If you have a Higher Power, pray to it about your future and allow it to guide you and know that this situation is temporary, and the stress will be over once you finish the exam. Good luck.

Sweet Pea hugs

I kind of know how you feel...I mean I dropped out of college because it was setting of my PTSD symptoms too much, being in a school type environment just freaked me out so I was literally over-stressing myself just trying to make it through college so I eventually had to drop out. Also the way I see it though is don't worry about contributing to society so much......your life should be about finding what you enjoy and how to live a life you can enjoy that is what you should think about.

I mean tell me what did society ever do for you? I mean hey you can still be a generally good person and treat people how you want to be treated......but society sucks, literally it drains your hopes and dreams till you turn into a drone who successfully finds a way not to think about it. If you try to define your life by its standards and are anything like me that will just make you feel worse and worse at some point you just have to think about what you want not trying to live up to all those ridiculous standards society places on people.

How nice to have such a supportive family (with the exception of your aunt.) Nice to know you have backup plans, but good luck... you've already got more education than most and will have some good options open to you! With a little luck you can find something low-stress you can do every day.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

I hope that you can relax enough to focus on your tests and do well, but if you can't, try and remember that many great people have met with spectacular failures. You might just be in an ashes stage right now.

Well...I just got the results of my test back. I passed. It wasn't a very high score, which means it will be hard to get into a residency program, but at least I'll be able to complete the degree. I feel a lot better now, and thank you to everyone for the kind words. Now I have to figure out what to do next, maybe some research or something to improve my resume if I'm trying to apply to residencies. I might even do research for a long time instead of clinical medicine. We'll have to see. The future looks a little better now, even if I'm not sure where to go from here.

I think I'd disagree with the notion that it is a good idea to over-stress yourself when struggling with depression or anxiety, but that's just in my experience........maybe this approach works for you and that's why you suggest it.

I had a friend who's dream to be an astronaut was ended one day unexpectedly when something medical showed up that was missed in previous years. He was an Air Force Academy grad and working with me, awaiting his slot in flight school. It's pretty shattering, but in the end, stuff like this happens all the time and there's nothing you can do. By coincidence or design he was offered an job instead working on the experiments that go up into space. So though he couldn't do what he originally intended he could still work in the program in another capacity.

I imagine with the ammount of training you have completed a multitude of medical profession jobs are possible. You just have to get over this initial disappointment. Plus, while the door to my friend's original plan was utterly and for all time closed, perhaps yours is not. You must know your condition can improve/stabilize and in time perhaps another attempt could be made.

Don't worry about people who don't get it and have never been in your shoes. It's not really their fault they don't understand, lacking the experience themselves, and if they are the annoying type, that is their problem, not yours. Just do what you have to, to keep the peace and wave goodbye as you leave them dwindling in your rear-view mirror oneday.

Don't take insults seriously, maybe they are mad or just avoid your aunt.