What is wrong with me?

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This is probaly something I shuold talk to my psych doctor abuot becuse they wuold know better, but I wantd to see waht people on here mighht offer as insight, besids that Im afraid to talk abuot it to him becuse Im curently having a hospital stay and I hate it here and want to gt out as soon as posible and teling something like this I wuold think would onl make me stay longre. Ive alwys been prety violent person, but it was easy to managge and only had to vent ocasionaly and many tiems on myself thruogh self-injury rathre than finding soemone to beat up on, until I got diagnossed with brain cancer and later sufered subarachnoid brain haemorhage. This was all in past year.

Evre since then, my violent urgges have been geting worse, and as of recntly I get mentaly paralysed by them - I cant think of anythng but a bunch of very horible things and I know if anyoen was in my room wth me at those tiems I wuold defitnly attack them. I was diagnosed withh bipolar type I before I was diagnosed as aspergers - is that soemthing normal for someone with a bpolar diagnosis? Or am I just soem kind o monster? Or what? Ive been off my meds a number of times and Ive had problems with lot of seizures since the stroke so maybe taht cuold have someting to do with it too? I really dont know, and not realy sure what Im talking abuot anymore. Just wantd to get some help by seein if someone might posibly know what it is, whther its just my preexistin conditions and not soemthing I dont know about. Thanks for the help!

bipolar and extreme anger do often have a linkage. unfortunately, there are no anti-anger medications, but pdocs have used SSRIs to mellow folks out, but "your mileage may vary." this is something very important to bring up with your docs, because there is the possibility that your worsening anger problems are organic, IOW it is something in the mechanics of your brain that needs to be looked at, that may be related to the cancer/hemorrhage. just a thought.

Whats wrong with you??
From your picture, the way you're looking at that sword, I'd say you needed glasses.

jk

Anger is often a result of frustration, being on the spectrum is very frustrating.
If you can resolve the frustration (there may be more than one) you'll most likely resolve the anger.
That's the easy answer and probably not very useful to you. I'm sorry.

On the other hand you've had brain cancer, brain damage, and a stroke, it may be beyond your current control.
It may be better to talk to your doctor and risk staying a bit longer in a hospital, than going to prison for years if you cannot control something that you doctor could have helped you with.
Plus you'd probably feel pretty bad about it.

Thankks for the answrs fellows. I wasnt sure it cuold be related to my bipolar becuse Ive got a prety good feelin of my moods, and wht has been hapenining recently seems so very foreign, becuse whiel before it seemed liek a lot of angre or frustration taht make me violent, thes recent thngs seem to go far beyonnd that angr and cant gt any rational thuoght in edgewise when I can do nothng but think abuot hurtin others. Iv thuoght it could be problem relatin to the cancer or so, becuse of course the tumuor hasnt been eliminatd yet and I havnt seen my oncologst in aruond a month now becuse of issues Ive had to take care of so I dont really know whats going on with the cancr at the moment.

The cancer tretment has been frustrting enuogh but Ive had many streses besides in my personall life that Iv been tryin to eliminate but almostt feel liek lot of it is out of my contrl, and when I can overcoem that feling and take some steps orward, soem mood of mine sets me backk wher I started, liek the urges for suicide that I gt more frequntly and which more often actt on or this thing wher I get traped in it and feel liek I have to hurt soemone and doesnt go away until Im physicaly exhusted. I kno I shuold tell me psych docotr becuse maybe he cuold help but ive goten so pesimistic and my thuoghts dont make so much sense at tiems that I usualy change my mind not much later becuse I figuer cant help me and al sorts of things thuogh shootin for teling him at least aftre Im out of the hospital. Ive never been a good person but these thuoghts I even have to cal so messed up and th exhustion that comes aftre them hurts if no other way than givess me a largge headache and theyy just keep coming, feels liek a nightmare.

ple with bi-polar can experience bouts of anger, yes. As can people with brain tumours. Injuries or illness to the brain can cause behavioural differences - especially tumours - such as irrational anger, phantom smells, extreme emotional reactions. My guess would be that you would be safer in a psychiatric hospital or under some kind of observation, so that you can't hurt yourself or other people. I hope your treatment works for you. x