i need to stop cutting

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Hey I recently started cutting myself again for the first time in years. Last time the people on here were very helpful at getting me through it. I just need to stop cutting myself, the stares I get in public and the questions from my loved ones is getting to be too much.

DISTRACTIONS are awesome for this with me. And alternative physical outlets. Are you interested in something like martial arts? While you do things around people, it's not really a *team sport* per se, and you don't really need to talk much. And there's lots of kicking. And punching. And putting my ex's face on the board, and.... wait, nvm....

In fact, I should get back into it. I got out of it, and I have the same issue (cutting). My therapist is aware of this. I just need a different coping mechanism. Because while I might not be actually suicidal, it's still not a healthy way of coping with distress, and only adds to it (re: questions from acquaintances).

Which brings up another point: therapy.
Yes, yes, I know you fully expect everyone to tell you "get help" and so this part of my response will come as no shock. But it helps me. And when I'm scheduled for a session and don't have anything to say, then he just asks what I think on different social issues and kinda works on bringing me out of my shell in general. Wish I could afford him right now though....

On a more personal note:
Whatever you are dealing with right now must be painful. I'm sorry for it. I'm not very good at conveying emotions, but I do understand pain, even though I know nothing of your personal situation. It's a horrible overwhelming thing. I'm sorry you're going through this.

I can't afford a therapist but I am a runner so I guess whenever I want to cut I should go for a run. Thank you for the help like I said this is the first time in years I have cut and I want to stop as quickly as possible. When I cut I don't think about what people will say and especially now in the summer the cuts on my arms are very obvious and draw lots of attention.

Yes, when you're actually "in the moment," not much else really matters. It's only afterward that you realize what just happened and it's after effects. I know that feeling. :/

Do you like crafts? There are certain crafts that require precision cutting that would give you something to feel proud of instead of disfiguring yourself. It's been many years since I self injured, but I feel your pain.

I see what you mean but I am not an artistic person. I am the computer and chemistry guy. The thing I was most proud of making was designed to blow up. That's not exactly something I can look to when I want to cut. I think I started cutting again because I got rejected by a girl that I can't stop thinking about. Does that effect anything with your advice she is still my close friend if that matters.

Aww, I'm sorry

I've got a guy who isn't sure what to make of me. We've known each other for 10 years, and just met up again a few months ago.... We dated briefly and he broke up wanting space and to work out communication issues. He's an NT, but he's trying to understand me, and I'm trying... to change things I guess.... I want him to be comfortable with me. He says he loves me, and I believe him. He spends his off-work time with me and tries to learn how to communicate.

But won't date me again right now.

It hurts. And yes, I cut myself over it.

I feel dumb.

I'm just saying I understand the pain, even if my circumstances are slightly different than yours.

Thank you all for your help last time I had this problem the people on this website were very helpful and you all proved to be again I hope with what you have told me I can stop cutting again hopefully this time for good

I used to find distraction helped followed by meditation (which can make you feel worse before it makes you feel better sometimes. I like to put on compassionate voices so I don't feel alone). This past few weeks I've really wanted to hurt myself. I even thought if I'm not going to kill myself then I want to shoot myself. At least then I could physically translate the pain that I feel but can't express in any way that people understand and still be alive to deal with it tomorrow. This is a problem both because I don't have easy access to a gun (and even if I did I could lose the usage of my arm for good!), I don't want to stab myself (for the same reason), and cutting myself will leave a visible mark (at least in the areas I like).

So then I start asking myself whether hurting myself will help beyond temporary release in the short term, and asking if it will make what I want go away. Maybe for a second but not for the long-term. Sometimes though I don't even care about the long-term, especially the more intense my emotions feel when all I want is a break.

Usually if I can distract myself long enough to get some relief, like posting on a forum (I did that today) and listening to some meditation tapes on my feelings (usually either depression, anger, forgiveness or guilt/shame).

I know that I don't LIKE feeling this way and that hurting myself distracts me from feeling this way. But then I know that people will ask me where did you get that cut from on your arm, or how did you get shot in the shoulder? Or who stabbed you!! ! If I think about the stares and the consequences and the questions that occur after the relief I get, then I think, are there alternatives to this. Is it possible for me to feel any better right now? What can I do? I analyze things to death so by the time I'm done analyzing I feel 'better' enough, which gives me time to reach out for help here, or watch something funny or do something that makes me feel good. Not CONCRETE advice, and probably not even helpful, but that's what I've done and am trying to do now. Sorry, it's all I have :S.

As an aspie i find it very difficult to quantify cutting. i simple logic it away. But i am very sorry this is going on i hope you feel better.

My suggestion is to get some free wieghts- dumbells of some kind.

When you get the urge to cut- hold off on cutting- and plunge yourself into pumping iron. Pump until your biceps, and triceps, are in righteous pain.

Replace the pain of cutting with the pain caused by excercise.

The worst thing that could happen is that you will buff up.

I'm thinking of starting. Any tips?

Starting to cut or starting to pump iron?

One thing that has helped me is known as "grounding techniques". You can google them for a list of them and a bunch of ideas. They're usually sensory things that help pull you out of your head and are substitutes for the sensations of cutting. Exercise, like people here have suggested, is one of them.

Here's a list of self-injury substitutes depending on how you are feeling and why you do it: http://www.siriusproject.org/alternatives.htm

A couple that I like are

1. Squeezing ice really hard, or numbing somewhere with ice until it hurts.
2. Naming several things I see, hear, and feel, until I'm distracted from whatever I'm feeling and put back in the moment.
3. Taking a bath. For some reason this helps me a lot; it is like a big "reset" button.