STOP ATTACKING EACH OTHER

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I could be wrong, but I don't believe that the founder of this site intended for the members to attack or insult each other. I believe that this site is meant for support and help.

I have read posts that discourage me and others that shock me, and some from long standing members.

After just being attacked by another member (long standing) for posting humor in response to a topic that both contains humor in the o. p. and numerous humorous responses from others, my question is "why"?

Do we not get enough of such hatred from others? Why do people come here for help, yet insist on attacking other members? If you find offense in someone else, ask yourself why. If that person is" in the wrong" then bring it to the attention of a moderator. Don't presume to have the right to attack that person., directly or indirectly.

I understand that individuals disagree and will express disagreement. That is a healthy form of communication. Degrading others, however, is not.

Hello Master of Flan,
Sorry to see you got landed with someone's frustration there.

I support your intentions with this post, but there are so many different and often rigid views on here. I feel it's best to roll with the punches. That post was always going to cause confusion, some taking it for comedy and some seriously.

Try not to be put off, there is good and not so good in everything.
Happy weekend, NW.

Even sadder ... some folk identify so much with their beliefs that questioning those beliefs is perceived as a personal attack or bullying. Others also seem more concerned with receiving attention than with finding solutions for their problems, and will perceive any reasonably workable solution as an attack or bullying, as well.

Either way, they sometimes openly claim that those who question their beliefs are "Bullies", "Haters", "Ignorant" and/or just plain "Stupid".

I said what I said because I was deeply offended by your comments. You completely misinterpreted the 'feel' of the thread and posted something that made of the issue and his own personal struggle with depression.

You're absolutely right that there was humor to be find in his original post, but the problem was you couldn't understand the intent and meaning behind his words.

He was expressing himself with some very dark humor but don't think for a minute that he wasn't absolutely serious about it his options. I believe you when you say you meant no harm, but imo you missed the mark to such a point that your post was actually doing some harm to the TC's feelings.

I can't deny I went on the warpath a little bit but frankly your comment was so insensitive that I felt you deserved it.

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tl;dr I attacked you for grossly misinterpreting the intent of the thread and posting something that made light of what was a serious cry for help laced with a bit of dark humor. The correct thing to do would be to pull you aside and say 'hey, I think you crossed the line and here's why', but frankly you pissed me off and I wanted to stun you a little bit with a direct confrontation.

edit: I want to reiterate -> I know you didn't mean any harm and I know you were just trying to join in on the conversation as you interpreted it. Unfortunately you seriously missed the mark (as people on the spectrum are admittedly wont to do at times ).

I just wondered if you read this post?

I had not seen it, no.

Two possible explanations:

a) he's been 'joking' all along, in which case f**k him. Many people thought his first post was serious so f**k him.
b) it's just damage control in that he regrets talking about his own suicidal ideation.

My opinion is that the OP was depressed at the time and chose an unorthodox way to express this.

If you read his first post again, I hope you can see that by indicating option 4, he implies that it is very unlikely he will harm himself.

If you would like to confront someone on this matter, I suggest TornadoEvil would be more appropriate than Flanmaster.

Best regards, NW.

All you say seems to be true, this is the first forum that I have taken more than a passing interest in.

I feel one issue here is that a number of members have experienced, or do experience, extreme bullying, the resultant feelings manifest as abusive behaviour to others in the relatively safe arena of the internet. Violence creates more violence as some of us know only too well. For some people their beliefs are the only things in their life, that they feel they do have control over.

I don't see that. It happens to be very close to the way I talk when I'm serious. I related to it a lot so I'm quite surprised that he might have been making it up.

Either way I'm still not done with Flanmaster. Easily one of the most ret*d posts I've ever seen.

Are you referring to me here?

I think there is a fair chance that you are unreasonably projecting your feelings on to the OP.
If you have a long established history of posting on the same threads then I'm quite happy to be corrected.

There are stupid and ignorant posts on this site, some of which I'm referring to in reply to Fnord. I still do not feel that your opinion of Flanmaster's sense of humour warrants such a response.

As for the other post I was responding to Fnord's post only. I'm not into making my opinions felt through insinuation, I'd much rather be direct.

Absolutely. I'll have to be more wary next time.



Agreed. For better or for worse I was deliberately over the top in my aggression

Last edited by The_Perfect_Storm on 13 Jul 2013, 8:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

Well maybe the "aggression creates more aggression" is actually relevant to you in this situation then.

You guys could shake virtual hands, ignore each other or politely tell each other why you disagree.

Have a good weekend too.

disclaimer : none of this is diagnosis. I am merely stating my opinion under the protection of free speech. I am not analyzing nor offering advise in any form. I am simply stating my opinion based on past experience and/or study, again, under the protection of free speech.

Then by all means, continue to attack, insult, degrade, and discriminate. (inre the "ret*d" comment)

You simply continue to support the appearances that a) you derive pleasure in harming other (which makes you a danger to others) and b) that your goal on this board is to harm others. which is not good either. the fact that, by your own admission, it was deliberately "over the top" makes it premeditated, willful intent to harm.

while you yourself may not realize it, consider the following.

Your attacks are nothing less than cyber bullying. they are not in defense of any one. Your "relating" to YOUR interpretation of the o. p. is classical of how bullies justify in their own minds the atrocities they commit. All of this suggests that you yourself are hurting and that your instinctive response is to harm others. unfortunately, it doesn't give the gratification that one might suppose it would, or the initial sensation of pleasure derived from "getting back at (anyone available)" decreases with each act of aggression, necessitating increased aggression to temporarily bring back the initial "high" (yes, its causes the body to release addictive endorphins, causing an addiction, like gambling, sex, and other behavioral addictions). in short, your actions appear to be a cry for help, but one that society as a whole rejects. Society has taken an offensive stance against bullies and bullying. So those predisposed to "crying out for help" in this fashion must modify their own behavior if they are to receive any help. Not all bullies want help. Some just want to harm others. Those who want help need to change their manner of " asking. "

by your own admission, you have failed to read at least one other post in the thread. In all likelihood others as well, unless you willingly admit to singling out my post from the other humorous responses. It is safe to assume that you possibly missed the" mood " and or intent of the thread yourself,"... as those on the spectrum are prone to do "

It helps to try to understand WHY it's ok (within the rules of social interaction) for the o. p. to" take such approaches " and likewise ok to respond humorously, even if you think the response is stupid. Also, it's good to try to understand why it's NOT ok to call people or things" ret*d" "dickhead" "pathetic ", etc. Especially when they are" on the spectrum"

not everyone here is classical H.F.A. Your aggressive responses COULD prompt someone actually try suicide. Is that your goal? I hope not.

As I suggested in the topic, we need to stop attacking each other, even and especially when we disagree or dislike something another has said or done. This forum is supposed to be a haven, which implies safety. Thus if you feel a response is inappropriate, tell a moderator, don't violate the purpose of this forum by attacking the perceived offender(s).

Some members on this thread seem to think it's Ok to push their weight about with name-calling, making denigrating comments, or attacking and threatening others.
This will stop immediately otherwise I'll start to seriously consider suspensions.

Absolutely. I didn't see the one post that completely changed my perspective on the TC.

However, I never tried to justify my actions. I deliberately tried to hurt you in some way with my post.

Was it in defense of the TC? Partially, but as I said there were better ways to do it if I was in any way considerate of your feelings. Does that mean I'm here to bully people? No. I do happen to have a problem with you in particular but I was completely wrong about your post in the other thread.

As for all this psychoanalysis stuff on the heart and soul of a cyber bully, I think that's a little bit ridiculous. I interpreted a thread based on the posts that I had seen and reacted strongly to you seemingly making light of a serious issue that I'm passionate about with your dumb comments. Had I seen that particular post from the TC stating it was for sure all one big joke I wouldn't have reacted the way I did.

It was absolutely not okay for the TC to joke about killing himself. His first post undeniably tricked a lot of people into thinking he was serious..

My goal was absolutely to harm you in some way, but I honestly believed your comments were harmful and disrespectful to the TC. I was wrong about this.