Reaction to diagnosis - is this normal

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I got diagnosed three days ago.
I'd self diagnosed some years ago, but felt I needed confirmation so I could move on from self assessment to working out tools and strategies to cope and make my life easier.
Today some unexpected things came up and now I feel depressed and bordering on suicidal.
Is this a common reaction to getting diagnosed - can I ride this through or do I need help?
I've taken a couple of sedatives to calm down, so I can at least feel a bit more comfortable; that way the worst thing that will happen is I will fall asleep, as I am at home, safe, and don't have anything to do or anywhere else I need to be as well as feeling tired and suffering lack of sleep.
Just want to check I'm handling this the best way, and not being stupid.

When I was diagnosed last year I secretly wanted to smile and hug the clinician. I didn't, of course, but I was glad to find out. Why? Because for once in my life my oddity not only had a name but it gave me a pass to join a club - youse guys. I lurked on WP for a while but didn't join till I was diagnosed otherwise I would've been trespassing.

Despite some of the minor setbacks I've had here, this cool club, as Aunt Blabby calls it, is not so bad. If it was I would not have lasted over a year already.

I'm sorry you're feeling suicidal these days. I am, too, but it's not because of my diagnosis. It's related to the fact I'm back to doing my stupid job just to make money to pay the f*cking rent or be homeless.

I can't say for sure if WP saves my life, but I do feel reaching out here is better than nothing. Hang in there, benh72.

Sounds like your doing well, as far as self assessing and taking logical steps. I would get outside help if you sense the suicidal thoughts moving past just thinking about it in a general way into planning or action. I don't know if there is a normal/standard reaction, but to have a reaction, or even a very serious reaction is pretty common.

Just feel like I need quiet and to be left alone.
I'm sure I'll be fine eventually, but the suicidal thing; well I've been a lot worse, and I tend to try to deal with it mindfully; experience it, see it for what it is - a reaction to an unexpected unwelcome event - and put it in perspective as best I can.

I won't be doing anything drastic, but it's good to know there are others here on WP that have been there and understand.
That's why I've not gone posting on my wall on facebook - even though I only have 19 friends.
In the real world and on facebook it's a tell each person one at a time policy so I don't get overwhelmed. But on here, we're all part of the same community, so it doesn't feel so weird and confronting talking about it.

Pretty much the same thing happened to me, OP. That's because I blamed my parents for a long time and so I thought I could outgrow it once I experienced more of the world. Turns out I was damaged from birth, and life was as good as it ever was going to get (which was pretty bad) and might get a whole lot worse once I stopped being young, innocent-looking, and cute. So I have struggled with bipolar symptoms and suicidal thoughts and withdrawal from people and things ever since I got diagnosed last fall, almost a year ago.

Sorry, I can't be more optimistic.

I told a family member that wasn't so close; wife of a cousin that lives interstate.
It took a few messages back and forth for her to accept that involving my parents was not an appropriate option.
I guess normal families where there is unconditional love take it for granted that everyone comes from a family like that.
Sadly reality is somewhat disappointing in that regard.
My parents aren't to blame or responsible for me being an Aspie; but they are responsible for treating me in a less loving, understanding, and forgiving way than my siblings, and due to lack of apology I cant forgive them.
Also the fact they actively tried to sabotage my relationships with others (friends and partners) - questionable tactic when you're a kid; just plain out of line when you're an adult.

There's the old observation that forgiving someone isn't for the purpose of releasing them, it's for the purpose of releasing you. I don't know how you feel about your parents very well, and it wasn't fair that they treated you differently, and it's not like it's for me to tell you how to feel or live... but that was just the thought I had, that for your own sake it might be best to forgive them so that you can move beyond it. Just say they acted the way they acted because it wasn't in them to do better. But you know you deserved better even though they weren't the ones to provide it.

It is normal to have some kind of reaction, I think. I had a much more negative reaction than I ever anticipated; it's only recently that I've stopped feeling so negative and mixed-up over it. Sometimes a little bit of denial still resurfaces, but I'm happy being me now for the most part.

It was actually my youngest brother and his wife who saw the signs in me, since they have a son and a daughter on the spectrum, as low functioning children. This was after Mom Died, #2 brother (who I'll refer to as Gettysburg, since he lives close to that town) was screwing me and my #3 brother (who I'll refer to as the First Shirt, since he retired from the Army Reserves at that rank, shortly after serving in Operation Desert Storm) and my youngest brother on Mom' estate. The psychiatrist had me on Viibryd, and I went bipolar. I was getting CBT initially, along with the psych meds (which in retrospect, I should have never been taking. You tell that to a psychiatrist, who doesn't listen to you most of the time.). Unfortunately, the therapist I was assigned to had a massive heart attack. Of course, with my dumb luck, my case fell between the cracks. I had to fight like hell to get the testing done, as well get assigned a new therapist. Thank God Medicaid and PA DPW picked up the tab. The clinician ran both the ADOS Module 4 and the Weschler exams on me, he determined I was autistic, since my scores were the highest this clinician ever saw. I was somewhat relieved, but also broke down, since the clinician brought back a LOT of painful memories, especially of my dad, who I didn't exactly get along with. With the exception of my youngest brother and his wife, I no longer speak to the middle two brothers, since the let it be known, in no uncertain terms, that I'm a fraud and a liar, and don't deserve to live. The first s**t told me flat out that it was my own damn dumb fault for taking this crap in the first place. He even as much as told me that I don't deserve anything, not even SSDI, as that is reserved ONLY for those with physical disabilities. I was even accused by the first shirt of causing mom's death, since I was unemployed, was on welfare, and had a lot of stinking thinking going on because of the side effects of Viibryd. Was it my fault she nearly bled out from a peptic ulcer 3 months before her death? HELL NO!! !! I saw her bleeding the day she before she nearly bled out. I told her to get to the hospital, especially when it was a block and a half from the house. Being an old PA Dutch woman, who grew up in an abusive environment herself, she told me to fsck off. 4:00 AM the next morning, she gets me up and tells me to call the ambulance, since she was covered in blood. Things went downhill from there.

I think loving families as you describe, are a rarity.

I wouldn't say it's normal for everyone with AS, but with your reaction to the stressors you encountered today, I would ask you to ask yourself would you normally respond this way? I ask this because, I have ways of dealing with what I deal with, and it's usually the same time after time for me, but for the next ten people with AS, they would all be different. We're all unique just like everyone else is a way of putting it, yet we share a lot of the same characteristics.

I tend to react to stressors with my fight or flight kicking in. Nearly everytime it's flight. I want to escape and leave. If I have my laptop or phone with me, I'll attempt to distract myself with them instead of paying attention to whats going on around me.

I don't think you are handling it wrong with your brief description. You recognize that you are having suicidal thoughts and are refusing to give into them and this is a good thing. The only thing that I think could be a concern on your part is the sedative. If it's something addictive you would have to take precautions to manage it and not depend on it more than a temp crutch until you can find a viable long-term solution.

What I would recommend is that you attempt to solve, and I don't mean completely fix, but at least find a solution you can live with, whether it's to mitigate symptoms, find activities, or improve yourself. I just recently got DX'd with AS so it's my new thing to self improve on. An example of a past thing I self improved on was my hypertension. After about a year and half of being on a prescription ACE inhibitor, with problems from it, I found a mix of OTC supplements that I could use to keep my blood pressure down, and combined it with learning to manage the anxiety and stress that was causing it, I no longer have hypertension. Don't worry if you don't find a solution that solves everything. Sometimes you're stuck with only preventing the worst of the symptoms or lessening how bad it is even though it what you're dealing with still happens.

There are things I do to get by, not just with AS. I now take a vitamin B and drink coffee near every day for extra energy just to get through the day in addition to using a cpap. I learned how to manage my hypertension.

I went through a depressive stage after my diagnosis. It was a few months after and not a few days after though. After a while I realized I am still the same person I was before the diagnosis. so what does it matter.

If you are having suicidal thoughts I would not "ride it through". That's a little deeper.

Sounds pretty normal to me.

The reaction seem to be relief, depression, and indifference.

I cried and begged them not to put me back on the antipsychotics and pled with them to please, please, please believe that I am not a monster.

Now I hide in my house and wait for the day that my kids and I will be euthanized. Cause there are 7 billion people on this planet, I'm broken, and they come from broken stock.

Sorry I don't have a happy ending for you.

Getting a diagnosis hasn't gotten me much help-- lots of praise for how wonderfully humanlike I am, but not much help.

Definitely one of the Top 5 Worst Mistakes of My Life.