Who is the Real Child?

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Nothing makes me laugh on the inside like a person who calls me a child and acts more so like one than me. In this case, I talk of my dear miscreant brother. One who is the challenger when it comes to pushing people away with his condescending words and actions, and inviting people back in. Someone you have to walk on eggshells around, due to a very miserable life. This guy had the absolute nerve to call me a child and say "my childhood is over". Yet, for about as long as I have known him, he has been acting no less like a child. Especially, when he is drunk.

That night, he started off by asking me how is my girlfriend. Before I knew it, I got a useless lecture about perception that turned into a rant about him being broke, me slacking off, me spending more time with my girlfriend, and various other things. In the meantime, dude contradicts himself a lot (for example, he talks about women being more emotional and men thinking logical, before talking about punching me in the face after. Then, dude asks me to do more work and pick up the slack, while grains of kitty litter stay on the floor and he complains about dishes that I hadn't washed. Why hadn't I washed them? HE used those dishes, and real adults take care of their own messes.) and the dude turns all kinds of pushy (when I mentioned that I go to college, therefore cannot make the kind of money he is asking for to pay the rent, he later on goes to say "f**k (small choice of job). Get a damn corporate job", one of which he complains about almost daily.)

These moments could have been easily squashed, had he patiently just told me to return to doing a little more around the house, right? That would be the case, except the guy doesn't talk. He only talks when he is drunk and looking to pick a fight. Then, has the nerve to say he is serious about things. This kind of insolence is what got his ass kicked by his parents. (It's safe to say the majority of the main family roster hates him, due to his attitude and bad decisions.)

I talked to all my friends about this (even all that I do, so there is no biased opinion) and they all agree that the one being a child was him. The icing on the cake was when he said that if I didn't, he would move out to two places: 1) a homeless shelter and 2) a girl's house. I personally found this to be laughable because his threats come off more like a child threatening his parents that he will commit suicide. Some will see a cry for help, and some know that you won't do it. But for me, the reason I don't take it seriously is because he had to return to this house multiple times. Multiple times, he has also been kicked out of this very house, as well as the houses he had lived in prior.

To this day, I avoid him like the plague, despite the fact that he lives with me. Talking to him won't help because last time someone expressed some bit of logic to him, on two separate occasions, he made fun of their weight and also considered by brand of logic "idiocy'.

The only question I have left to ask this man who is 5 years closer to middle age is this: who is the real child? Is it still me for making him see his errors or is it me for not being able to find a job that works with my schedule? Is it me for not cleaning up after him, despite his status as a grown-ass man? It has to be me. Obviously, he doesn't see mistakes in himself often.

My thoughts...

Calling anyone a child for any reason (other than them being a child) is playing the emotional game of I'm better than thou. There is also an emotional/controling aspect to it, in that the person is trying to shame you into acting in a particular way through name calling.

As as far as being a child, or growing up. Who wants to grow up anyway. I still like to play, and I'm not going to "grow up" just because someone demands it.

That is most definitely it. As for me, being a "child" (what he said specifically was "your childhood is over! It's time to be a man!" all while having no kids, no girl, no college diploma, and could hardly hold his own without going plumb crazy. Even Dad doesn't see anything worth redeeming inside of him), all I'm being is a happy person. I want to do things that will assure that I don't form a line with the spiritually confused, dead, and broken. Because if I head down the void of darkness, not only is it hard to come back but it is hard to find the strength to want to do anything that you either want or need to do in life.

I've been in that moment where I was miserable, idle, just unable to really break out and do my own thing. I have been there, and I do not wish to go back. He can if he wants to, but I got better ways to spend my life.

And if his drunk azz doesn't mind, I will be spending mine being a happy grown-ass so-called child.

What kills me about this whole thing is that I'm sure he knows that he is f*****g his own life up. He complained about light bills, electrocity bills and all that, but every night, I walk by and see the kitchen light on, the bathroom light on, the livingroom light on, the computer room light on and the TV. None of which are being used but the television and the living room light. Meanwhile, everytime I am done with the bathroom. livingroom or whatnot, I actually turn the lights off, so I won't waste the electricity or the light bill. To this day, the only light I keep on besides the TV when I am using it is my little nightlight, which was made to conserve energy.

So, it's another example of him pawning all of his own screwups on me.

I say you live your life as you see fit to do so. Be happy in what you do, and be responsible for your own outcomes.
Your life is yours to live. We used to have ads on the TV with a simple message. "Life, be in it".

I think you're still comparing yourself to himself. This is a bad habit to get into, comparing yourself to anyone, brother or elsebody (I'm making up words here ).

Live your life as you see fit and confident to do so. Let him live his life as he wills. Try not to allow comparisons between him and you. I know it is he who is doing the stirring but be strong, separate your wants and desires from his taunts. You will be a lot happier, and your happiness is your responsibility, not his.