I burst out in tears today at work

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I recently (3 months ago) moved from a job in my specialty area because it was eliminated and took a management level job in an area of the business that I know little about.

I am having a really hard time.

On the one hand, I do get the sense that my direct reports genuinely like working with me. One told me that I am the best part of the job and another--who is usually pretty reserved--pulled me aside today to let me know how appreciative she is of how supportive I am and all the things I have done to help her. These comments mean a lot to me. Because the truth of the matter is, it seems to me that most managers are good at managing things but suck at managing people. I seem to be the opposite.

I am drowning because of my executive functioning issues. It is like the work I do takes a giant spot light and shines it right on all of my deficits, which I am usually able to compensate for and hide.

I feel like a giant failure. Like I am letting my team and my boss down. I hate excuses and I tend to hold the belief that if you keep trying to solve the problem, you'll eventually find the solution.

But this job...it is as if someone purposely designed the worst possible working scenario for me. I am feeling so overwhelmed and I don't know what to do. I am trying to find a job in my field, but I can't. My resume is everywhere and I'm not even getting calls, which surprises me because I am well educated for my position and have lots of experience, both in terms of years and the things I've done. Plus, I have never really looked for a job before. Often, people sought me out or someone would say "I know someone who is looking for someone like you" and we'd meet and I'd get the job. I don't mean this to be bragging. It's just that I think this is making me feel even less in control.

So, today I burst into tears at work. For something I'd never usually cry over. I am embarrassed. I feel like I am going to implode and I can't reason a way out of it. The expectations being placed on me are not unrealistic for my position. I just can't meet them because of my damn executive functioning deficits.

I don't expect anyone here to be able to fix it. I feel like I just have to let it all out though. I am really struggling and feeling overwhelmed.

I've broken down at work too...it can happen, and yeah, it's embarrassing and feels awful. It's also very human if you are placed in a position that is a bad fit and is just plain overwhelming.
If it's not too personal, and you think it might be relevant - What is your normal field of work and what is this job you have now?

I am normally in organizational development. I am now in an operational management position.

I know it seems like it should be an easy transition, but for some reason, it really isn't. It seems I can teach managers how to manage, but I can't do it myself.

There are too many balls in the air at any given time and the one that is a priority appears to change from day to day. I never get to finish anything because before I finish it, a new crisis comes up that I have to deal with. I have moved so many things on the "back burner" and most of them should have been finished by now. But I have no idea how to rectify the situation. Except work 20 hour days. I have even gotten better at delegating, which I thought would help, but it hasn't.

Either that or it would even be worse if I wasn't delegating.

I have never felt like a failure at work before. Sure, in the momentary sense as in "that was a stupid decision....epic fail!" but not in the "oh my gosh. I actually cannot do my job. And I don't know if any amount of trying is going to fix it. I canNOT do it."

double posted ...sorry

It sounds like you are describing a high stress and chaotic environment....Questions
#1 - Is the job really do-able? Is it a stable, well articulated set of tasks that integrates well with the other jobs in the company? If it's a newly created position - I'd see that as a red flag.
In some organizations nowadays, it has become fashionable to re-create and re-define positions that are not really do-able. This is done in an attempt to cut employee costs and get the most HR bang for the $. Upper management combines and mixes and matches tasks in a non-functional manner that might seem to go on paper, but in reality only creates chaos and then tries to find/fit a person to the criteria (which may not be humanly fulfill-able). What did the person who had this position before you do? How well did he or she perform - why did they leave the position? Did they successfully grow out of the job on their career path, or did they leave in frustration or some other catastrophic manner? If they are available, can you ask them? In other words, can a normal, ordinary person with the right background and qualifications do the work. Is it you, or is it perhaps the job itself?

2. If, on careful analysis and reflection, you find the answer to #1 is no...you must either re-define the position (bring in your developmental skill?) or present to your supervisors the fundamental issue of what makes the job impossible - if it is newly created position, then you may need to argue this one pretty hard. Also, if you have come up against upper personnel who are attached to the position by means of ego, etc...I'd look to start a new job search before this thing goes totally belly up.

3. If the answer is really about this new job being a total mismatch for you (it was okay for others, and is do-able - but just isn't working for you) then the search for a new job more in tune with your skills is even more important. It's a horrible shock when you bomb out and have never really failed at something before. Everyone has limits; I remember vividly getting fired because I was in fact a lousy commission based salesman. I learned it was not my forte, but I knew I was good at other stuff and it did not diminish me as myself...just clarified who I was not supposed to be... You've been successful in the past - and I don't doubt you can be so in the future.

You clearly cannot do your job to the standard that you would expect.

Regardless of what happens, you are not your performance on your job. You being a worthwhile person doesn't hinge on this.

Even if everything feels like it's falling apart, surely you have to love yourself.

In fact, love yourself even more. Maybe the world depends on this more than the actual job that you do!