It's none of her damn business!

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Hey folks I'm back, and this time in regards to a comment that my mom left me as she was collecting some printed up sheets at her printer (I'm visiting my homestead for a day or two). You see, the thing is, I was watching a video on Youtube that contained some swearing in it, and my mom's one of those parents brought up in a religious household, so I paused as she entered the room (where I also sleep). And what does she say to me for my courtesy? (efuda) She says "You're not watching something dirty are you?", under the assumption that I'm watching porn.

I know that I wasn't...and she believed me...but even if it was softcore porn, what does it matter? I'm 40-f**king-years old! I think if I wanna watch me some of the old in-out, it's my goddamn right, as long as I'm discreet about it.

This isn't the first time this has happened either. It seems that ALL MY DAMN LIFE, she's made me feel ashamed of being a healthy, sexual human being. Since I was 21, she's been aware of the fact that I'm a frequent masturbater; yeah, I was the shy, awkward, bullied kid who never got any girls in school. I was a late-bloomer too: I didn't have my first conscious orgasm until I was like, 17-and a half, but once I'd started, I never wanted to quit. Anyways, just to give you an idea of just how much she frowns upon that...

Once, when I'd turned 23, I got some irritation in my penis, so I told my mother in secret that "I'm having some pain in my...urethral tract".
And do you know how she responded?! She said...

"Well, maybe if you didn't play with it so much..." What...the...eff?!

And, even though I lived with them as an adult for 19 years, I wasn't even allowed to have girly magazines, lest they find them while helping me clean my bedroom, and confiscate them. I mean, even as old as thirty-six, my father, being the goddamn mindless stooge that he is, confiscated a Penthouse magazine that I'd been saving purely because it had a short story I liked; not because he was disappointed in me, but because "What would your mother think of this?", using her as an intimidation weapon. Well, I'll tell you what I think: IT'S NONE OF THEIR F***ING BUSINESS!! ! If I wanna masturbate, I should be able to do it without always feeling ashamed of myself!

She may not say it to my face, but I can tell, that deep down, she's ashamed of me, and if it wasn't for 'unconditional love', she'd have disowned me years ago. But in a way, as angry as she can make me, I DO sympathize with her: it IS hard on her and my dad, knowing that their oldest son is such an autistic f***-up.

To the mods, feel free to move this thread to the Adult section if you feels it's more appropriate there.

That's all I have to say for now. Feel free to comment.

Fluttershy11

No offence but why don't you get a place for yourself then? By moving out of their house they won't be as interfering in your life i'd guess. Besides although you are an adult i guess what your parents think is that since you are living under their house you should live by some of their rules - especially if they are of the old fashioned morals kind. Although i have to admit that they seemed a little to "sneaky" almost as if in a need to spy on you. But yes like i said - best solution i think could be to move out of the house.

Unfortunately, if they are supporting you, it's their way or the highway.

Um...I DO have an apartment of my own. The reason why I'm staying over is because I'm having a bit of a crisis: I lost my apartment keys and I have to stay here until Dad can make a copy of the entrance key and my unit key. (The mailbox key is a different story; I'll need to go to the post office when it reopens and supply ID and a copy of my lease.)

And it's NOT like that all I do when I visit them. I keep to myself a lot and don't eat much of their food (usually I bring my own), and most of the time, I watch old familiar, comforting Youtube videos.

Nope, wrong! They're not the ones supporting me anymore, it's an independent case manager who handles my bills and other finances. She also doles out how much spending money I need for essentials, as my request.

I LOVE apartment life! Being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, without the watchful eyes of my parents. I've been familiar with this feeling for four years, and it's awesome! True, sometimes upsetting things still happen, and I wish that I could go back to the way things were...

...but then I think to myself 'F**k that; I broke out of Shawshank! I'm free! I don't WANNA go back there!'

Sorry i might have come of a little judgmental somehow it seems, that wasn't my attention at all.

It's good you have a place for yourself then, so i guess until you get your keys fixed, you either just have to put up with your parents behavior, or just tell them that you think they are a little to controlling and ask them if they can tone it down a little. Luckily you'll get away from these situations when you finally get to move back to your own apartment- until then it's a good rule that while living with someone else, under someone else's roof you have to respect their boundaries (which i guess you do) and they have to learn to trust/rely on you more.

Good luck!

Don't lose your keys then.

Sound advice. (Efuel)

Sorry to hear man. *Gives a hug*
I have the same problem but not sexual related, more on "Let me do what I wsih to do" thing.
My mom banned me from seeing my godson because she still hates her former friend on what she thought was "Shouting at me" when the said former friend was just in a hurry and she believe NOTHING of it. She forbid me to see my godson just from that alone!
And also, I wanted to go to my 1st US convention (BabsCon, to be exact, which will happen a year from now) just to see Andrea Libman (Pinkie Pie's voice actress) but my Mom won't let me, AGAIN!
Sometimes I wish I ran away because of these restrictions, I felt like I want to stow away all the way to LA because they never understood me well enough, esp. if my intention is good.