What is wrong with me?

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I moan about a lack of social life but then when social life comes a-knocking I freak out and find an excuse not to answer the door.

All the people interactions I have feel empty, but aside from that, I am the happiest I have ever been. So, you'd think I'd just give up the ghost and stop searching/waiting for ..ah yeah, that's it, not all of them are empty are they... it's just the case of liking people more than they like me..or is it? Meh. I don't know.

It so confusing. One moment I feel like this, the next moment I feel like that, and throughout all that there is also a 'this is how I Should be feeling about this stuff' stuff. Except I never do. Feel like I Should.

Of all the people in the world that I know and some that I don't know but could imagine, I cannot think of one I'd really like to be next to me right now. But why, then, am I on this forum typing this to some strangers?!

Doesn't make sense.

I had a short superficial conversation with a colleague this afternoon but it's still doing rounds around my mind. There is nothing to it, it's unimportant, so why am I thinking about it? Arghh

I really wish I could be lost in a good book right now. You know the kind? But there isn't one to hand.

Any film recommendations?

Most people want good social interaction, but achieving it is hard, even for neurotypicals. It is even harder for Aspies.

It's easy to get lost in the corn maze.

What kind of movies do you like?



Just kidding! Don't kill me if you are blond! Really some of my best friends are blond. (Including my wife.)

Um, my hair is kinda white more than blonde. Maybe that's why I don;t get that joke?

i like Sci Fi and Fantasy. The New Thor movie would go down nicely right about now, but it is not available on the interwebs. Also Comedy is good. But it's been ages since I saw a comedy I liked, they just don't make them like I like them any more. I'm going to watch the latest episode of Once Upon a Time.

I feel bad for escaping from work without going for a drink with a colleague - whom I owe a drink! I am due to go out with old work mates tomorrow, would it be inappropriate to ask this colleague along with me? That way I don't have to talk to him, he can chat with the other people who like chatting

You seen Vanilla Sky? Good film for a soggy Wednesday evening.

There's a fella called David Deida who recorded some rather hippy sort of stuff, but one thing I remember him saying was that if you always went off what your mind wanted, you would be pulled in different directions, because it was so transient in nature (he called this female, and anything fixed was the male). I think he suggested that to overcome this, one had to look deep into themselves and 'find their purpose'.

Not sure if that's of any use, and I'm skeptical about it, but hey, g'luck as always.

yeah I have seen Vanilla Sky - excellent flick, it was long ago enough so that I could see it again - thanks!

good point about the purpose and the transient mind - spot on probably. Most likely. Good chance at any rate.

I've actually said something that's been helpful to you, without putting my furry foot in it?

My life is complete.

Here are some suggestions of more recent films off the top of my head

War of the Worlds (2005 version)
Children of Men
The Happening (2011)
Ponty Pool
Oblivion
World War Z

octobertiger - clearly, the rules of Haven are working to my advantage

Toy_Soldier - those are awful suggestions. But thanks for trying, I appreciate the gesture.

It's on my interweb. Low quality though, shot in a cinema by someone who sneaked a camera in. I've tried a few of these and find them to be unwatchable. My favourite was LotR, where the elvish was subtitled in chinese and at a couple of points people could be seen walking in front of the screen.

I've just finished watching the first 3 seasons of game of thrones which i think is brilliant. It's how LotR should've been made.

If you like films about identity, consider "Black Swan", or "Woman in the fifth", both of which require multiple viewings to understand. In the case of WitF, IMDB reviews are also needed...

Or how's about the Coens? No Country for old Men has a supreme baddie.

If you like reading books, here's one called Wetland and Other Stories. It's a collection of 3 novellas and 8 stories set in the Pacific Northwest and runs the gamut from general fiction to crime to science fiction to horror. How do I know it's a good book. I wrote it.

http://www.amazon.com/Wetland-Other-Sto ... B00E0NVTL2

^

Leafplant, I think it's OK to be choosey. You won't get along with everyone, however, I think most people need meaningless talk (i.e. small talk) in order to move onto something more meaningful. I've often stopped talking to people I couldn't face because of that empty feeling also. I find it exhausting. I guess we find it harder to connect with others. Perhaps like the myth of drinking 8 glasses of water a day to ensure health, perhaps it is a myth for us to have to have a social life in order to live longer, or some rubbish like that.

Tonight I went out for a meal with an AS social group. I actually hardly say a word because I still feel the disconnect. But, I think I go sometimes just to interact a little with people, because being around people who can accept you, can be nice. I'm allowed to be quiet around these people and they don't get in a huff. I think one of the mothers there finds me a bit off, but meh.

...So perhaps you could find a group like that. I don't always feel the need to talk to people to enjoy their company. I couldn't go to a group like that everyday, though. They are more moderately affected, but at the same time you know exactly where you are with them because they're blunt as anything! I mean, I still feel the disconnect, but I don't have to put on a front, which I like.

Go to the cinema, on your own. I love it. "Rush" was a great film, and I think it's still around in a few cinemas. "Philomena" wasn't bad.

I think for someone who wants to be able to socialise, but can't for some reason...needs to learn how to enjoy their own company. It took me a year or so. I would just venture out and explore places. I mean, it doesn't get rid of the problem of loneliness entirely, but if you go to your favourite place with great scenery, and think...while munching on some street food, it's another kind of bliss.

Oh yeah, very funny....

Leafplant, what you describe seems non-specific and just a general kind of malaise. Like maybe based on boredom or dissatisfaction? If thats the case the root problem may be inward in your life and not really something that will fixed externally. Just venturing a guess with this.

If you like films about identity, consider "Black Swan", or "Woman in the fifth", both of which require multiple viewings to understand. In the case of WitF, IMDB reviews are also needed...

Yes - I must watch these, thanks for the reminder!

@ smudge - Rush was great - saw it last week. I'll check out the other one, thank you for the suggestions!

@Toy_Soldier - why would you have thought otherwise anyway? This is a thread in Haven entitled What is wrong with me? - how internally malaised do you have to be to make it more obvious??