zacb wrote:
Ever since I was 9 or so, I have been on and off depressed. So let me start out one the first time I did not feel like I fit in. When I was not home educated and was in the public school, I got jealous/ sad that people were giving tops (I believe they were cereal rewards), to another kid. I felt like people did not like me. And from there I acted out. After that I went down hill. I was then home schooled. Fast forward to 12. I felt like I wanted to die. I however did not like the idea of pain, so I decided against it, and told my parents about it. In any case, I got over it though thinking about the future. So for two years I felt pretty good. Then I moved back to my home town, and my father died, and I was also going to a youth group. I couldn't find any friends at the group, and made an ass of myself with the girls. And since I was 15 I have been depressed. The only times I have felt better have been in long distance relationships. The only thing that has kept me from the thoughts of suicide has been the future. I haven't thought about it for 6 years. I guess my point is I am now 19, and still feel depressed, and I want to get rid of this. I don't want to go on medicine, but IDK what to do. I am bored with my town, I can't get a date to save my life, and jobs have not been forthcoming. Any thoughts?
You sound just like me, even down to your age you did things, although I did attempt suicide when I was 14. I'm 32 now. I really don't have a solution, but I have found that when I eat food I'm allergic to, it messes me up something awful to the point where it affects mental health and magnifies my depression and anxiety. Of late, my executive function has taken a nose dive and I haven't eaten a proper meal without food allergies because I can't get myself together enough to buy the neccessary stuff.
To get through the depression I do a few things to get through it.
I play a waiting game with myself. Usually, I stay home and lie in bed, and listen to music.
I go be around someone else, but there isn't always someone to be around.
I pass the time with alcohol, whether by myself or with others.
I sleep, even if I have to take sleep aids to do it. Sometimes I get lucky and the depression passes after a few hours of sleep.
All of that or a combo of that until the depression ends
None of this is probably helpful, but it's what I do to deal with my depression.
04 Nov 2013, 11:45 pm
. Right now I am doing homework and school.
