Therapy resistant(rant)

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I think I give up on therapy. Not to knock the guy, I'm sure it's more me than him given my string of unsuccessful attempts in the past. Here's what's to mind.

1.I don't trust therapists. I can't open up completely, because I don't feel like I'm understood.

2. Fear of judgement. I have a deep seated fear/expectation of being judged negatively. Considering I was always/sometimes still always unknowingly doing something wrong, and blindsided by the fallout, who wouldn't be? I'm always searching for acceptance, but I'm not finding it. The root of a lot of my anxiety.

3.All I get is banal, common sense advice I know already because he doesn't quite get the problem. I have trouble verbalizing my viewpoint in a clear fashion, and feel pushed in the wrong direction. Not a bad one, but I want understanding and some illumination and I feel like I'm getting overpriced band aids.

Just venting my thoughts, because it's very lonely and frustrating. It just makes me hate the world.

I myself am basically 0-3 regarding mental health 'professionals.'

It seems like this clumsy thing where they primarily see things through theory. And the therapist can actually get hurt feelings and take it badly if something they try doesn't 'work.'

I had somewhat better results with a speech therapist who gave me some advice along the way, and did not become married to her own advice.

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As always, your results may vary. If someone is reading this and has had positive results with a therapist or counselor, more power to you.

1. What makes your therapist untrustworthy? If you're not understood, perhaps you can explain to him how misunderstood you feel at the time, or stop and think about it while you are in therapy or away, and write those thoughts down in the most precise way you can think of, then give him the notes.

2. You are always going to be judged, it is what most normal wired people do. NT's tend to be quite full of judgmental thoughts. Right or wrong, judging is very normal and it happens often for the smallest things and then some larger ones. Fear it, but do not shy away from being judged in this case. It can help you, even if it hurts. They might be wrong in their judgment and if they are, absolutely let them know how wrong they are, and they very well may end up taking your word for it and adjusting their state of mind as a result of you speaking up. If you do not speak up they will probably assume their train of thought is right and waste your time.

3. I hear what you're saying here. Most of my therapists were the same way. Therapists seem to "read from the script" or books that they read on learning about how to deal with certain situations most of the time. Keep in mind they do not know all the answers and learning about you and your problems is a process for them to understand. Sometimes their advice is typical, sometimes they experiment with you if those things don't seem to work. Some therapists may not understand you well and never will. You may need a different therapist.

Since you do not know how to verbalize your viewpoint to him clearly in the moment of speaking together, maybe you could do better in writing. Try sitting down one day and really think about what you want to say, and find the best way to say it, then write that down, and give the paper to him. Sometimes it is easier to express something on paper and it takes less valuable time out of your therapy session too.

Also when you feel the conversation is going in the wrong direction, it is not rude to stop it, and tell him "hold on, I think you are misunderstanding something I said" and clarify on the topic. The therapy sessions are about you, so focus on you and what matters to you to get the most out of them.

I think I give up on therapy. Not to knock the guy, I'm sure it's more me than him given my string of unsuccessful attempts in the past. Here's what's to mind.

1.I don't trust therapists. I can't open up completely, because I don't feel like I'm understood.

2. Fear of judgement. I have a deep seated fear/expectation of being judged negatively. Considering I was always/sometimes still always unknowingly doing something wrong, and blindsided by the fallout, who wouldn't be? I'm always searching for acceptance, but I'm not finding it. The root of a lot of my anxiety.

.All I get is banal, common sense advice I know already because he doesn't quite get the problem. I have trouble verbalizing my viewpoint in a clear fashion, and feel pushed in the wrong direction. Not a bad one, but I want understanding and some illumination and I feel like I'm getting overpriced band aids.

Just venting my thoughts, because it's very lonely and frustrating. It just makes me hate the world.

A decent therapist should provide a safe environment where you can feel "heard".

Yours isn't.

It's not you; its him...

Thanks for the responses, everyone. Food for thought...

You can do it my way: spend years of studying, learning and introspection so you can become your own therapist (because you're terrified of opening up and risking being misunderstood - or even scarier, understood!) Learn how to do things that 'they' only can dream of, with their textbooks and myriad projections. Learn to look inside yourself so much, the outside world disappears, and becomes what it really is. Be so brutal to yourself, you judge yourself according to impossible standards. Lead yourself in circles, spirals, in and out of the garden, straying from the path countless times. Solve most of your problems (by realising that you are your very own problem) - and then realise something rather simple, hilarious - and useless...

Or just go to the bloody pub instead. Not to trivialise, but all of the above is just another way of filling the hours between birth and death (Dr Eric M Berne).

You shouldnt feel judged by a therapist.

If you feel judged he is doing something wrong.