How To Get Shed Of A Pesky Ex

Post Reply New Topic

Today I was enjoying morning coffee,had somewhere to be on a landscaping gig,plus we are suppose to get really bad weather,maybe ice,snow and nighttime lows around 10 this weekend so I have errands to run.
My ex husband shows up,before I had finished my coffee,asks if I'll cook him eggs.WTF,we have been divorced eight years or so,he's been told my son to not bother me.And I have made it clear to not show up,yet he does.
I've done everything in my power to get him to stay away been hateful.threatened him,yet he keeps popping back up.
How do you deal with someone that does not understand NO?

What worked for me was to answer the door holding a weapon, refuse to let him talk, and always have my truck parked in my driveway in such a way as he couldn't drive right up to the house. Never answer his calls if he calls, and if he shows up tell him you're seeing someone with very satisfying physical attributes and wish him bye-bye. Edited to add, this was someone who I had had to hang up on about a hundred times before he stopped. Never, never feed an ex.

I never answer his calls,I guess I should lock my gate,I have a long driveway.
This was really weird,and it's putting my son in an awkward position,and that's what really ticks me off.He's getting really angry at his dad,and I don't want that.
He even wanted to take my dog for a ride,said he wanted to ride him up to the neighbors,WTF?Then asking if I would be home later.Even crying in front of me,saying oh I miss you..blah ..blah..
The really funny thing is as he was leaving, my male neighbor was coming up the drive,my ex made a smart ass remark to him.All my neighbor was doing wAs getting some large bandages for a really big scrape.
If I had brothers or younger uncles they would deal with this.All my male relatives are too old for this kind of s**t.

He does not seem to understand boundaries.His own family tells him I'm not interested.
I think it may be that I will have to be really nasty.
I don't understand why if you tell someone you do not want to see them they keep popping up.
If someone told me to stay away I would.
Even if I had a restraining order it would take about 30 mnts for the deputies to show up.

why do you open the door?

It's hard to slam the door in the face of someone you have kids with.I want to be civil,there are shared birthdays and such.
It would be easier if we didn't have children together.
I'm sure part of it is my brain,thinking ,I told him to get,why doesn't he?
That's what I can't wrap my mind around.
But you are correct,I won't open the door next time.

This may be helpful http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Difficult-Relatives

That is some good info.Thanks,and thanks to alpineglow.
He does not seem to get boundaries.
It's just really hard on my son,I want him to have a good relationship with his dad.
He loves his dad and me.It just sucks that he is getting drug into this.
We've been divorced for a long time,it's sort of creepy that he is trying to make amends now.

The only thing which finally stopped my ex from calling me and having various friends and relatives call me was informing him that his telecommunications harassment of me had escalated to a level at which I could pursue felony charges and that I was willing to get thr family's lawyer involved (the lawyer had recently been dealing with my uncle's estate but dealt with many types of cases including civil ones). It may have also helped that he turned eighteen and could go to a "big boy" prison, not to mention that I scanned and sent him a copy of the police report, including screenshots of his calls and messages to me, to prove I meant business.

Haven't heard a peep from him since.

[Post removed - accidental duplicate]

I don't answer his calls,I let the phone do that.He's is not threatening me,but he just keeps popping up.Its just so strange,I am mean as I could possibly be,but he still thinks well get back together.I can't understand this,all we did was fight the last couple of years.His family does have a history of early Alzheimer's.I have no idea if he is having some sort of mental problems or just being a jerk.He can always say he was calling about the kids.Even though they are out of the nest.
Weather permitting I'll see my counselor and case worker next week,I'm going to ask them what I should do.

Be polite next time. Cook for him. Have him sit in the kitchen so you can talk to him while you cook. Talk to him. Bring this up and say that you feel you owe it to him to let him know, him being your ex and all. Tell him you've made up your mind, you just want to let him know. One night months ago you were online, bored, surfing around and you surfed onto one of those prison pen pal sites. You thought "What the hell, half these guys never get mail and most never get out" so you wrote a few. Most of them just wanted money on their books but you started writing with this one really nice guy. It's been about a year now and he's doing straight time so he gets out with no paper in about two months. You said he could live with you. He's a brick mason and can find work in that field even with a felony. He's been in 14 years so it's going to be an adjustment. He's likely to be a bit techy about other guys coming around so it's probably best if he doesn't show up. Dude is fine with women and kids. What he was in there for is past, and past is past so you're not going into that. Lets just say he's got a bit of a jealous streak. No, you aren't his girlfriend, but he's really, really nice and you'll have to wait and see. You're not ruling anything out of course, but to start with he's just a friend on the couch.

Then finish with "But really hon, for real, don't be coming around ok?"

Might work. Your other options are trip wires and even dirtier tricks than that. If you want those, PM me.

^^^

Double post

Tell him you had sex with a younger man on a green couch!