Do you want to hurt yourself when you stim?

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I have been wanting to break some of my teeth out. it is complicated but first i was just hyped up, i had some anger. but then i was just high strung. and then i was gnawing and i wanted to twist and break them out. but then i wanted to bite something tear it apart and then the only way to keep myself calm is to inflict pain on myself and then i started stimming. and now i am really anxious. i dont stim often, but when i do i twitch and claw at the back of my head like i am trying to get something out. i tried taking my sedative i take for anxiety attack but that hasnt helped yet.

tonight was really stressful, we went to the mall and there were so many people and then i came home. i have been marathoning dexter and i think the darkness has effected me. i have had bad dreams. and i often greatly relate to show si watch but this still doesnt help the fact i wana hurt myself. like tear my own skin off and i dont know what to do

An obsession over pain is indicative of a need for adrenaline, and subsequently endorphin rushes. Please start with some ice cream or something, then perhaps videogames, then do anything you might normally do for fun, thrills or both. Balancing danger with interest is something that's best done outside your body, as I'm sure you're aware. I for one would rather see you in mortal peril than constant pain, at least that's my own outlook on these taboos. At the absolute least, watch some engaging TV that's not about murderous psychopaths. We are what we eat.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I worked out some to release some energy. and then played a engaging real time strategy game. it has calmed me down significantly, though it could be that it is 5am and i have taken a sedative and a sleeping aid

It's quite normal for autistics to be unaffected by the effects of sedation, across a wide variety of compounds or methods. Even after taking a melatonin, I still have to make the conscious decision to go to sleep.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Oh yes but i took .5mg of ativan. and the urge to hurt myself was something i fought until if ell asleep. the odd thing is that i normally do not stim, but it seems like this time i did and i felt like another thing i wanted to do instead of flap my arms was to cut myself.

I've experienced mild stims from derealization & depression before, but not in tandem with the compulsions you're describing. I don't think pharmaceuticals ever really address the whole of any problem, ordinarily just the symptoms or just the causes.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

well i also have ocd