Well...I certainly don't know what to feel about this.

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Well, I do acknowledge that there are quite a good chunk of third world problems and reality smashy(is this even a word) things all around but I can't help but feel lost in this strange world.

For starters, I'm in a program for Spectrum disorders called College Link. Even though everyone there has AS just like me, I feel kinda...different even from them. I don't exactly have a special talent like Vocal talents or the knowledge of professors under my belt. All I have so far is salesman-sy skills and even that had to be earned from a whole summer of wiring my brain differently. The AS folks there as far as I know certainly think that having this is a fate you can't change, even though I honestly disagree with that entire philosophy whole-heartedly as I've been striving to push myself away from the cage to soar like a bird. Still...it does feel lonely when even people that are suppose to be just like me manage to isolate me as well.

Then there's my problems with my spiritual side of things. I'm addicted to making progress, whether it be selling something for the company I'm working at or hell, getting high grades. Yet I always seem to prioritize social needs as nothing more than a obstacle in life inside of my brain even though my heart is feeling quite the opposite. I mean...I want NT friends, sure but I can't seem to find quality vs the normal mass of party-going skateboarders and drama folks.

Am I just that weird? Or am I just going about things the wrong way with the way I think now? It just plain sucks being the oddball amongst oddballs so far.

Two of your remarks strikes me:

You can develop other ways of doing things and you can work to overcome your weaknesses like everyone else, but you can´t rewire your brain.



You don´t have to be the oddball. You need to find interests besides your studies and your work. Try out some things, you would never have expected to see yourself do.
Drama?: It is about interaction, and you learn a lot about yourself, and you will meet very engaged people with vievs and interests far from the superficial party-apes, you describe.
Music?: The same.

Think out more. Do a brainstorm.

Addicted to making progress can be a good thing. Kudos to you for acquiring salesmanship skills; you can apply them to gaining new friends if you can adapt them to 'selling yourself' to others rather than products they're probably better off without anyway.