domestic abuse please help

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this is going to be hard but I think my uncle is in an abusive relationship. my aunt has schizoaffective disorder she lashes out at people yells gets rally jelous threatens and does other things this kind of stuff has been happening for years on and off. my uncle is now staying with us for the second day Friday and today sunday. My grandma tries to shelter me from it so I don't know speficly what happened but I think I know enough my mom says its abuse and I should talk to my consoler or health teacher but I don't know what to do or what to tell them If I do report it.

sounds like your aunt needs treatment badly. my sister's boyfriend's brother has schizophrenia. he went off his meds and became a threat to his father. the brother was evicted and only then accepted treatment. if a person is a danger to themselves or others, treatment can be involuntary. is there a mental health crisis line in your area? most places have them.

or perhaps your aunt is not having trouble with her schizoaffective disorder. she's could just be the kind of person who knows no other way to relate other than abuse. that would merit a call to a domestic violence hotline. there is a national number, 1-800-799-7223.

of course, giving these numbers to your uncle would be better than calling yourself, because he has all the details. you could call just for more info for yourself, though, if you want to.

it's good he can count on your family. try to make him feel welcome.

your uncle has to make his own decisions. he already knows what you think and apparently disagrees. you'll have to live with that. talking to your counselor like your mom says might help you feel better about things. sorry you are seeing so much trouble around you without being able to do much about it. it shows you are a caring person that you want to help, but, as a social worker, I can tell you that there are many situations I'd like to be able to fix, but I don't have the money or something else gets in the way. we do what we can and have to be satisfied with that.

Don't get ahead of yourself. It sounds like you don't like your uncles wife, and from your description it is understandable. However, until and unless you are forced to live with them, it is not your issue and you should not try to "strike preemptively" by "reporting it". You would only cause yourself more harm than any good you might glean from it, IMO.

I have put this link in the domestic abuse thread in members only, but it's a link to worldwide domestic violence agencies. You just find your area and there are listings. Here is the link. <Link to Worldwide Domestic Violence Agencies and Help>

Find your area there and copy down the numbers or addresses. Tell your uncle that you aren't trying to be nosey or presumptuous but you are worried that he may be having some trouble at home and you have found some places that may be able to help him out in many ways. Give him the numbers and addresses. Let him take it from there. He has to decide what he wants to do, but you will be giving him the tools to do it with, should he decide to.

That's very sweet of you to be concerned and it's wonderful of you to help.

You can call the police and have her involuntarily committed. Or, you can even call her therapist, say it's an emergency, and he/she will do it for you. I feel so bad. Schizophrenia alters a lot. Your uncle probably won't leave her because he knows the "real" her and knows it's the schizophrenic side of it all. I'm not minimizing her abuse, no. She needs proper medication, because right now, she's not in reality. My grandma would do the same thing, but she thought she was fighting off monsters. Call ASAP because she could very well hurt someone or herself. It can take a long time and constant adjustments to get someone back from bad psychosis.

Although, I could be wrong. Some people ARE just abusive. However, my grandpa had to divorce my grandma. He visited her every day, though. He loved her, but her uncontrolled psychosis made him very mentally ill. In order to help her, the best thing he could do was help himself so he could make sure she was OK. My first thought for your uncle is to go to a support group where there is no pressure to leave her. Putting pressure on abuse victims can, and often does, have the opposite effect. I'm so sorry for everything that's happening...

As for you, I think you should talk to a therapist about this. Abuse often effects multiple people.