past anxiety thoughts still causing physical pain; Thoughts?

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I had some bad problems with anxiety in my life but I'm on medication nowadays(Buspar & Neurontin) & learned & grew alot from things so my anxiety is aLOT better. However I occasionally have thoughts related to past loves that cause me to feel the physical symptoms of bad anxiety but without the actual anxiety. Like if I randomly think of certain events that caused me to have panic-attacks within my two previous relationships, I feel the physical symptoms of a minor panic-attack but I don't really feel the anxiety I had. Also if I randomly stumble across something online related to a crush I had(a celeb I was obsessed with & fell in love with but I have a girlfriend now & don't crush on her anymore) & the information is something bad that happened, I feel the physical symptoms of a minor panic-attack but I don't really feel anxiety. I'm not sure if this is related but I feel guilty sometimes when I think about the ex crush because I really do love my girlfriend but I still love the crush(I cant unlove anyone but wish I would of quit crushing on her before I got in the relationship so I could feel a sense of closure instead of stopping because I entered the relationship) & feeling guilty causes me to have the physical pain as well. Thankfully the pain doesn't last long at all & isn't super strong but I don't like it. The way I deal is by trying to practice avoidance like trying not to think about those events or not looking up anything or enjoying things related to the celeb crush but avoidance doesn't always work. Does anyone have any thoughts, input, suggestions, advice ect about this I won't consider therapy(I got alittle from psychiatrist years ago & it did not work well for me) but I may be willing to increase or add medication if it seemed promising but I'd rather find another way to deal with this.

What do you mean by physical pain? I used to get pain in my sterum and ribcage from anxiety/stress. It was just the constant tightening of muscles/ligaments. Medication and some relaxation techniques brought it under control.

But to be honest, how do you think you will get better if you say 'I won't do this or that, but will do the other.' ???

That is not really your area of expertise, knowing what you need to do, to get better. Those are professional calls. You can only try and make sure you only deal with competent doctors. But you do have to listen to them if they say you need to do this or that (like therapy). Otherwise its half-assed and you may sabotage your own improvement.

The pain I have sounds like it could be what you mentioned Toy_Soldier but I can also get an upset stomach. I get what your saying about me saying no to the idea of therapy but I spent 5 years seeing psychs & taking meds for depression amongst other things but that was the biggest problem & I didn't really get better till I quit seeing the psychs & taking the meds. I did alot of self-analyzing & research on things & a few years latter decided I needed to try medication for my anxiety because anxiety was some of why I fell into the depression & something in my life was causing me anxiety. I researched meds abit & got them from my GP & they're working for me. Buspar helps my generalized-anxiety & panic disorder aLOT, & Neurontin's helping my OCD alot. Those issues are very well managed now accept for those couple types of thoughts I mentioned causing me pain. I tried a couple relaxation techniques with psychs like breathing & visualization but it never helped. Us Aspies can have problems with therapy if the therapist isn't very experienced with Aspergers because of the way Aspergers affects things like communication. Posting here on WP has been aLOT more helpful for me than psychs ever were. Also those couple triggers of pain I mentioned are related to some complicated things & having to rehash it all with someone would make me depressed. I'm better off moving on instead of dwelling on things from my past.

I take buspar too. I don't feel the anxiety, but I can tell by my thinking that I am anxious and worrying about something. I relate. It is kind of weird.

My girlfriend also takes Buspar & she describes something like that as well & she's on the same dose as me which is 15mg 2x a day. Maybe I'm odd but my thinking except for the OCD got better after being on it a bit. I still have the thoughts & anxiety some in situations that would cause most to be really anxious thou it's probably worse/more intense than the average person because I don't handle anxiety & stress well when I do feel it but I handle it alot better than I used to.