I need to vent
06 Feb 2007, 10:12 am
Guys, I am not having a good day, so I need to vent. First on the list of things to vent about is work. I am 21 years old, and have been working at Market Basket for 4.5 years, and am still a bagger, yet, I read a news article on Jason McElwain where Jason bragged about being promoted to the cakes at Wegman's. No one will promote me to cashier level or anything, and this is starting to make me worry that when I am out living out on my own, I will never get promoted in my career, and that I will be stuck with entry-level pay, which means I'll have to be cheap while everyone else gets to have fun and spend their money all they want.
Next is college. Today in the computer lab, some kid, on his way to a computer, said f**k when he walked behind me, and when I confronted him, he was like, "What are you gonna do about it?" in a tough guy tone. He said the word to me about five million times on his way out too.
Why doesn't anything ever go my way? The only time things did go my way was in my Sophomore year of high school, when I did lots of special things, including winning School Spirit Day, helping out in a pep rally, winning Student of the Month in the Visual Arts department, and winning some other award at the end of the school year. Otherwise, when I want things to go my way, people look at me like I'm some kind of spoiled brat. For instance, in seventh grade, my behavior was almost top-notch until late September, when I got obsessed with the Student of the Month award, and cried due to the stress from the possibility of not getting it, and then had trouble behaving since then, while during the summer, when I went to summer camp, I constantly got teased, and when I tried to stand up for myself, the blasted counselors would take me to time out, but I kept trying to fight for my right to speak up for myself. There was also another Aspie kid at camp that I had known since preschool, and he was much better at sports than I was, and he was also better at making friends than me as well. Junior year, I try to become popular, and even started doing the morning announcements in an attempt to boost my popularity, and I become popular alright, but I also got teased like crazy. Senior year, the teasing stops, but then I get invited to a party by a student three grades below me in my TV class, and my parents say no because they were paranoid about there being drugs and some other crap. The summer after my senior year, my family and I go to Disney World, and my sister and I get yelled at for our constant bickering, and my mom threatens to send me to the mental hospital because she asked me politely to lower my stereo, and I argued with her that lowering it would make it sound tinny.
Now I can picture myself 5 or 10 years from now. I'm at work, and I want a promotion, but I never get it, and then get laid off. So, the bigger issue here is, why won't anyone at Market Basket promote me? I do an awesome job of bagging, and my customer skills have improved a lot, and the people love having me there, and my mom says that they may not be promoting me because I'm a really good bagger, but I have the assumption that if I can't get promoted at a grocery store, then I will never be able to progress in my career when I am out on my own.
06 Feb 2007, 1:06 pm
The promotion thing....this has happened through out my life and is in part why I began researching AS and eventually went for DX.I have this constant "sense" that inspite of being a good worker(completing more tasks then assigned,always on time,not calling in late,following rules,creative problem solving),no one was "asking" me to apply for any advanced positions.I have a college degree and work with many people who are 20 years younger,have no degree and poor work ethic.What they do have is better people skills.Not just with costumers put with management.Sometimes they socialize with them and some times they are just more "tuned into" what the managers need "personally".....I cant do that.I seperate my "personal self" from my job.The unfortunate reality of the work world is that it appears just as "clicky" as highschool.There are still the "popular/cool" kids and the "outsiders.Guess which I am?
I think the term is "smoozing".You need to develop a relationship ,of sorts,with the managers for them to encourage you to apply for promotion.Is there any one at your store in management or human services that you can talk honestly with?Have you applied for any of the cashier positions?Most companies are supposed to post "open positions" and allow current staff to apply to them.If you havent done so,do it.You may have to "reinterview" for position change and that is when you can let them know about your improvement in costumer skills.You can also ask them what skills they feel you lack for the position and what you can do to improve them.I could never be a cashier because there is some major multi-tasking involved and you are expected to be able to "socialize" with the customer while you are doing the tasks(dealing with computer register problems,credit-card issues,etc.).The idea of trying to deal with a register recording the wrong price and the costumer complaining about over charge
and the overhead muzac blaring and manager standing over my shoulder trying to tell me what to do......overload.The only way I could manage this is if I had a very long training....maybe a cashier could let you observe?
This doesnt have to be a "life-long" issue for you.When you find the right fit in a job you may find promotion easier(especially in jobs that dont require multi-tasking or socializing).A lot of aspies who have been promoted into some sort of management in their field....hate it.Management requires totally different skills then most hands on jobs.Every person has to decide what is important to them....more money or less stress and free time verses money.What good is having a huge house and lots of "toys" if you have no free time to use them(many managers work 60 hour weeks),and are to stressed to enjoy your time off.I personally have decided that I will sacrifice money(less toys,vacations stress me,I prefer thrift-stores to malls)in order to have more free time to pursue my interests....or do "nothing".It is a trade-off.
_________________
Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesn't mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
Visit my wool sculpture blog
http://eyesoftime.blogspot.com/
06 Feb 2007, 3:39 pm
Unless he was directing it specifically towards you, you were technically the one that instigated the issue. If he was trying to be confrontational with the initial utterance, eh, blow him off, don't let it bother you. Half the time that's the whole reason someone tries to be confrontational in the first place.
For the job situation, krex is right. As I don't have tons to go off of in terms of background (other than the time span) all I can do is guess. Have you talked to them about promotions? If not, have you asked about getting more responsibilities? (Good way to say "I want more money" without explicitly saying it.) If you haven't done anything other than your job, as much as it sucks, they haven't done anything more than pay you. That isn't great or desired, but it is fair. If you haven't made it clear (the definition of that varies from person to person) that you want to make more, however that may be, then it isn't entirely fair to expect them to outright know that. Sure, everyone wants to make more money, everyone wants a better job. That is a given.
If you've expressed such things to your employers, well.... maybe its time for a job change. If they've effectively made it clear that you aren't getting any kind of promotion, the only real answer is to go elsewhere. They don't "have" to pay you more, but that doesn't mean that another business won't be willing to.
Did you argue politely? Granted, sibling bickering shouldn't be considered a reason for a parent to make hospitalization threats, and it was likely just that, an idle threat, but if she asked politely and you were argumentative about it, there's any number of negative ways that can be taken.
Stop dwelling on the past and the future. You can't change the first, and you can only indirectly change the second.
06 Feb 2007, 4:27 pm
I did not get teased while doing the morning announcements. The kids actually thought I was the best news anchor in the entire school. People teased me in the halls by calling me the wrong name, spreading rumors about me stealing shoes, etc.
06 Feb 2007, 4:41 pm
I think the term is "smoozing".You need to develop a relationship ,of sorts,with the managers for them to encourage you to apply for promotion.Is there any one at your store in management or human services that you can talk honestly with?Have you applied for any of the cashier positions?Most companies are supposed to post "open positions" and allow current staff to apply to them.If you havent done so,do it.You may have to "reinterview" for position change and that is when you can let them know about your improvement in costumer skills.You can also ask them what skills they feel you lack for the position and what you can do to improve them.I could never be a cashier because there is some major multi-tasking involved and you are expected to be able to "socialize" with the customer while you are doing the tasks(dealing with computer register problems,credit-card issues,etc.).The idea of trying to deal with a register recording the wrong price and the costumer complaining about over charge
and the overhead muzac blaring and manager standing over my shoulder trying to tell me what to do......overload.The only way I could manage this is if I had a very long training....maybe a cashier could let you observe?
This doesnt have to be a "life-long" issue for you.When you find the right fit in a job you may find promotion easier(especially in jobs that dont require multi-tasking or socializing).A lot of aspies who have been promoted into some sort of management in their field....hate it.Management requires totally different skills then most hands on jobs.Every person has to decide what is important to them....more money or less stress and free time verses money.What good is having a huge house and lots of "toys" if you have no free time to use them(many managers work 60 hour weeks),and are to stressed to enjoy your time off.I personally have decided that I will sacrifice money(less toys,vacations stress me,I prefer thrift-stores to malls)in order to have more free time to pursue my interests....or do "nothing".It is a trade-off.
I don't too many toys, and I'm not asking for a huge mansion for, either, but at the same time, I don't want to live in a shack either, and I also need money for obsessions. For instance, I'm obsessed with stereo and home theater equipment. Depending on how picky you are about sound quality, this obsession can cost as little as $50 if you are willing to live with cheap junk bought at Walmart, or as much as $500,000 if you are either extremely rich or an audiophile who's suffering from audiophilia nervosa. A Home theater in a box will not be enough for me. I want good sound, nice bass, and convenience. Low quality speakers not only sound bad, but they grate on my ears when turned up really high. I once had KLH bookshelf speakers and a low-end KLH stereo receiver. Now I have Infinity speakers, a Harman Kardon stereo receiver, a 12-inch Infinity subwoofer, and a Sony 400-disc CD changer. The Infinities sound much better than the KLH's. THe KLH speakers sounded like they were squirting the music at you, while the infinties seem to disappear and have deeper bass. And the amazing thing is, both these sets of speakers have 5-inch woofers. But I'd rather have a good stereo system than a crappy home theater in a box. But will I need to be a manager in order to afford all these goodies when I'm out on my own. Currently, I'm in college, and I still reside with my family.
06 Feb 2007, 6:09 pm
Hey, don't leave out the vintage stuff you can find at thrift stores. It'll surprise you sometimes. The meat of my bedroom stereo cost me not even $100, and it sounds about 1,000 times as nice as what you'd get at W*Mart. The newest component is a cassette deck from the early '90s.
As for the job, maybe the problem is that you work at Market Basket and not Wegmans. I hear they're excellent to work for, if you've got one near you. Sometimes the only way to move up is out. Worked for me.
08 Feb 2007, 5:21 pm
Yeah, but home theater can be quite an expensive hobby, depending on how picky of sound quality you are. When I am out on my own, I expect to be able to afford a good quality home theatre system with tower speakers in the front, and when I mean quality, I am talking about no Sony speakers allowed in this setup. I've never been to a thrift shop before, but I am very weary about buying electronics from those places because I had a Sony mini system that started skipping on CDs after about a year and four months of use.
For those of you who have never been promoted in your jobs: How do you even make ends meet? I assume that people who never face promotion get stuck with entry level pay and never get any pay raises.
08 Feb 2007, 9:24 pm
My parents kicked me out at 16,paid rent on a room and gave me 50.oo a month for "expenses".So,I know how to live on little money.I dont go to movies...I but them for a 1 at thrift store or rent them.I buy my cloths at thrift stores.(I agree,it can be risky buying electronics there unless you know how to repair things because people often donate broken stuff....very lame IMHO)
I rarely eat out but sometimes will eat from dollar menu at Wendies but always drink my own soda which I buy on sale.Most groceries I buy on sale and I cook instead of buying a lot of expensive processed foods.I love Roman noodle,potatoes,speg,whole grain breads,eggs and frozen veggies....fresh when cheap and in season.I think you said you are living with your parents now?This is a perfect time for you to learn about living "economically".Go shopping and learn how to price compare,budget for the month,ect.Even with a good paying job....I hate paying "to much"....feel like I am being a sucker and getting ripped off.
I always work overnights and have gotten some raises just because I did a good job and it is hard to find overnight workers(who aren't junkies or crazy....so,I have made myself more "valuable" by choosing this shift.I know that may not work for you but is just one example of how you can get raises....amke yourself valuable to company and if you help them make money they are likely to give you more(unfortunatly,this doesnt alawys work because many managers are morons and cant always see how you benefit them.)
I make about 10.00 an hour(more when I work overtime)and this is a pretty low wage(especially for some in their 40's!! !)but I have everything I need and some toys that I chose as priority....my laptop cost about 650.oo and I bought a nice Ipod.I drive an inexpensive car that I only drive to work and shopping after work(no special trips unless nec).I didnt even own a car until I was 30 but took bus,walked,biked every where(not to hard living in the city and saved tons of money.I have lived alone but it is much better if you can share expenses and rent with someone you can tolerate(not easy for me).I dont own a credit card....if I cant save the money for something....I go without.Credit cards suck money.
There are several books on saving money that you might find useful.You can buy some very good used electronics from pawn shops(which offer limited warranties)or from a site like Ebay or Craigs list but they can be risky in my opinion.I like warranties if I am shelling out big money.
Hope those tips help.The whole topic maybe be mute,you are young and could end up with a great paying job in the right field for you.I still think even if I had money I would be fiscally conservative after all my years of having no choice.
_________________
Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesn't mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
Visit my wool sculpture blog
http://eyesoftime.blogspot.com/
09 Feb 2007, 11:12 am
screw the cashiering positions..see if you can get a position over there stocking shelves..but you gotta be fast and consistent with it, unless of course numbers is your thing (like it is mine) ..but my rate of pay numbers will do just fine..i'm making more than those damn cashiers too
