Could somebody actually help practically?

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I know I kept saying that I can't bear my life in the last few years on this site, but it just keeps getting worse and worse... when people say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem they're being uselessly optimistic... I've been in this situation for at least 8 years now, with pauses every so often but the general trend has always been for things to get worse.

Generally, I've had the last two years wasted by college... successfully completed a course but then they left me to rot all alone. The only thing they seemed to do is to bag the money they earn by me being on the course and forsake me. I'm supposed to be going to university now, having done this course, but I think it's more likely for the sky to fall down at this point than that happening.

In society's view, it seems, the most practical help it can give is money... and so, for all purposes I'm not in risk of starving to death, but all means I'm starving of the oxygen of life... I'm so isolated, going insane slowly but surely...

I'm so tired trying to get out of this situation, too... so tired.

The local community theater, I would join more than one.

From what you write, it seems possible that you are having a particularly bad problem with executive function. In a better world, schools would provide resources to help people on the autism spectrum to deal with the complexities of navigating the real world. (It took me 7 years to get a BA and even after that, I just took jobs that were convenient.)

Are there councelors who can help you make progress. Or is there an autism advocacy group in your area who might help?

Maybe I'm just reading my own issues into your post, but it seems to me that you could benefit by taking some small steps toward doing things for yourself rather than waiting for others to do them for you. While there are organizations that can help, they need to know you need help in the first place. You need to reach out to them. If you are having problems with executive function, this may be difficult, but if you don't make some effort (or more effort than you are currently making) no one will know to help you.

Getting started is hard enough, but keeping going on a day to day basis can be the hardest part of the effort. What can help is to make certain things a habit. If it's looking for work, set up a time of day that you do a bit of job searching every day. If it's school related, do the same. Find a time and a place that you can do the work you need to do every day and make it a habit.

It's exhausting to live with depression and it seems like every effort will drain your strength even more. But the reality is a little bit of light exercise can give you a little bit more energy and a sense of accomplishment. Maybe that's what you need more than anything else; a sense of having done something positive. A short walk or a bike ride can be both physically stimulating and morally encouraging. It may seem to be too much effort, but don't reject the idea immediately. If you already do some exercise, do a bit more than you are used to.

No matter how much other people might want to help, there are some things that no one can do for you. It would be wonderful if there were some miraculous pill or a perfect job that someone could give you that would change the direction of your life, but it's not likely to happen. And while things may change for the better some time in the future, you are far better off making changes for yourself now.

Do a little bit of exercise today and keep it up for a week. Then increase it by a little bit more the next week. And even more then next. That alone can greatly improve your executive functions. It won't work miracles and you will still struggle with things, but it can help a great deal more than you might think.

Good luck