Why do I do this to myself? Rave caused sensory overload.

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I just got home from a rave a few hours ago. I went with my friend and some other people. I don't know why I thought I would be able to handle it, I usually can't even handle regular parties. We got there, we bought some Ecstasy. I'd never taken Ecstasy before but I decided to try it. I danced for a little while and tried to pretend everything was ok. At some point though I just lost it. My mind shut down and I couldn't speak. I sat in a corner and tried to pull myself together, but I couldn't. People were talking to me and stroking my back but I couldn't register what they were saying and I didn't want to be touched. I just wanted to get out of there, but once you exit you can't come back in and my friends weren't ready to leave. Finally one girl said she was ready to leave and split a taxi ride with me. This just reminds me why I have few friends and stay at home. I'm very close with the friend that invited me to the rave so I know he just feels concern for me, but everyone else got freaked out because I became glazed over and wasn't answering them. I knew I shouldn't have gone, there was flashing lights, loud pumping music, lots of people dancing, the smell of smoke. All of that combined to a huge overload. I'm really upset because I just want to have fun like other people my age.

The worst part of this is that it's now almost 5:00 am and I have to get up for work at 7 and I'm still rolling. I work in customer service so I foresee a problem. I want to call in sick but I don't want to have to call my manager so early in the morning and no one will probably be able to cover my shift. I'm just so upset because now more of his friends think I'm a freak.

Thanks for reading, I feel a little better already.

Note to self: Never again buy Ecstasy from strangers. I don't know what was in that pill, but I feel sick.

Yeah, drugs like ecstacy are bad news.
What Ecstacy does is flood you with Seratonin, a chemical for happiness. But this flood can stop your body from producing seratonin on its own. I know multiple people who have had their lives damaged drugs, even with less severe drugs. Stay away.
You don't need drugs to have fun.
Well, there's my health lecture. But I can honestly relate to how you're feeling, and that feeling once led me to drinking at a party and by the end of that night I was falsely accused of breaking a window.

Sympathys for your plight.

agree, dont buy pill's of strangers. you dont know whats in them. and somtimes, PMA (fantasy) is sold as ecstasy by shady figures. PMA works like ecstasy, just 15 times more powerfull. correct me if im wrong, but a 15x overdose of ecstasy can kill you.

actually, dont buy drugs at all. not only are they dangerous, your money also supports organized crime if you buy em.

somewhat off-topic, but precisely what is a rave? (it will not surprise anybody that I have only once ever been offered drugs, and that was almost certainly a con)