Feeling Good Makes Me Feel Bad

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Last Saturday, I went for an afternoon stroll, and I smelled something nice. It smelt like fruit blossoms, though at this time of the year, it was more likely perfume. After a few seconds, I started to hate the smell because it smelt too good to me. In my mind, it felt wrong that I could ever smell anything this good in my lifetime, because I always feel that I never deserve anything good to happen to me, not even in the short run. What do you think is wrong with me, and what should I do to change my behavior?

Hello Lonely Jar. Were you, perhaps made to feel as an unworthy person, throughout your life? If so, you may be conditioned and this may explain your reaction to experiencing something that you receive pleasure, from. A good friend of mine had the same issue. It took a lot of work/self discovery and some in therapy, for her to see her own value, and to feel that she is worthy of goodness.

This is a common trend among many people that get diagnosed. I like to refer to it as self-limiting, or self-defeating behaviours. Of course, I struggled with many relationships and friendships because of it.

Embrace it rather than envy the smell.