Irate RoomMate Help

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Okay So I have made a few mistakes at the place I have been living, first I clogged the sink with food, which is my fault entirely cause the sink sucks and I have been keeping my dirty dish crap in the garbage can. He accuses of me of leaving stuff all over the kitchen, which I would dispute because he is a pot smoker and is as messy as I am and has adhd,, so of course he would remember exactly whose mess and crumbs belong to who(cough Sarcasm) . He really got mad when I dropped some peanut butter on the floor and didn't notice it, but what I will say is I hadn't left the house, and I was just about to return to the kitchen, that is when I take note of the messes I make and clean it up at that moment, and he got really pissed. I think its only reasonable to get angry at someone if they leave a mess for more than 1/2 hour and actually leave the house before cleaning it up.

So today, he sent a text message and told me he found the door open, it a crappy door that gets blown open by a semi strong wind. I am pretty sure I forgot to lock it this morning, but I can say for sure that I closed it and it is windy today. That is a mistake neurotypicals make every day. I doubt he will believe me and I am already dreading another drama scene. He has sort a Mary Poppins Complex from what I have noticed; he talks A LOT saying too much and is pretty convinced his way is the right way on alot of things(though though he is probably 70% of the time.). Whenever he sees something out of order he sends me text messages almost immediately. He is nice but goes of the handle in my opinion. He doesn't know Im autistic and quite frankly at this juncture I don't want to tell him because I didn't do anything a normal Neurotypical wouldn't do, forgetting to lock the door. I have been cleaning up my dirty dishes and being hyper vigilant with messes. I Already got kicked out of one place because I accidentally left a glass container of ootmeal 6 inches out of place and I didn't even leave a mess. I find myself in the same situation as last time where everyone is so hyper sensitive about these things. I am somewhere between a slob and OCD and believe me I have lived with some pretty disgusting people so i know what is clean, disorganized and just a little dirty. He already started a fight with another roommate over dishes, which in my opinion is totally hypocritical cause he leaves dishes in the sink for days on end which makes it harder for me to clean my dishes.
What Should I say? he usually dominates the conversation and I hardly ever get a word in.

Maybe a note left in the kitchen?

If it goes well, he'll suggest other reasonable rules.  Then maybe you can add one more rule so that it will kind of feel equal.  Even though he might have more total rules, the whole thing is kind of your idea, so that's equal enough.

And maybe a dollar fine with goes in a jar for pizza money, done with a light touch.  And that's important.  It's not heavy and ponderous and punishing.  It's done with a light touch trying to be in favor of people.

And can you stage tasks?  Like if dishes can be rinsed and put in the dishwasher, that's 'staged.'  If something has to be thoroughly washed and thoroughly rinsed and then placed on the drying rack, that's less likely to get done.

The guy does sound like he has his issues.  I guess we all do.  When you say he had a fight with the other roommate, I hope you're talking about a verbal fight, which is probably unnecessary in its own right.  If it's a physical altercation pushing like thing, you kind of have to be alert whether he's staying the same or getting worse.

I would be irate if my room mate left the door open. AS or NT, there's no excuse for that, and it puts everyone's stuff at huge risk.

As for the kitchen, I think that as long as it's clean before you go to bed, your ok.