12 Jan 2014, 2:11 am
my family is NT through and through, to the point that when i was 4, i heard my uncle tell my mom to find a priest because i was possessed by a demon. yeah, that definitely stuck with me. anyways. they don't understand me. they pretend to, but they don't. they don't g 
et me at all. not my obsessions, my very few yet extreme irrational phobias, my sensory overloads, my selective mutism, my MONK-like OCD, nothing. but since my brother doesn't just have Asperger's & Bipolar like i do, but also Paranoid Schizophrenia with a very mild recessed case of Cerebral Palsy, it's all perfectly acceptable for him to have freak outs and collections, and to spew facts out of nowhere and to hate talking most of the time and all the same stuff as me.
i'm 24 & my brother is 25. and this has been the norm for as long as i can remember. he'd be consoled for being terrified of a balloon, but i'd be told to be quiet and stop acting out if i saw a snake.
my family and my friends are all NTs, while my friends try very hard to understand my "things", they just don't. they try really hard and i like them for it. they & my mom are always telling me "you can always talk to me", but i can't. yes, my method of coping is a tad unhealthy (i self-harm, but i am in no way suicidal, so please do NOT climb on that soapbox), but it keeps me from having the very destructive and extremely violent towards others as well as myself episodes i had from 2-16 when i switched "coping methods" fully. (i started cutting when i was 9).
what i'm trying to say is this.
i'm just so tired of hearing "you can always talk to me" or "i'll never judge you if you need someone around" when the second you take them up on the offer, they go "i don't see what the big deal is. it's just (knitting, a grocery line, a hug, a club, insert-your-dilemma)." and then they get all pissy when i cope with it! they got all pissy with it when i'd destroy things and hurt people for hurting me, now they get all pissy about me hurting me. what am i supposed to do?! sit in the bloody corner and sing "Kumbaya" everytime i feel a freakout coming on? because of i did that, somebody'd probably take a shovel to my head because that's the most annoying song in the entire world! AND I'D THANK THEM!
i just wish they'd make up their minds. are they there for me and do they actually care about me, or are they just a bunch of BSers? because it hurts and it makes things worse in my head!!
Meistersinger
Veteran
Joined: 10 May 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,700
Location: Beautiful(?) West Manchester Township PA
12 Jan 2014, 2:42 am
et me at all. not my obsessions, my very few yet extreme irrational phobias, my sensory overloads, my selective mutism, my MONK-like OCD, nothing. but since my brother doesn't just have Asperger's & Bipolar like i do, but also Paranoid Schizophrenia with a very mild recessed case of Cerebral Palsy, it's all perfectly acceptable for him to have freak outs and collections, and to spew facts out of nowhere and to hate talking most of the time and all the same stuff as me.i'm 24 & my brother is 25. and this has been the norm for as long as i can remember. he'd be consoled for being terrified of a balloon, but i'd be told to be quiet and stop acting out if i saw a snake.
my family and my friends are all NTs, while my friends try very hard to understand my "things", they just don't. they try really hard and i like them for it. they & my mom are always telling me "you can always talk to me", but i can't. yes, my method of coping is a tad unhealthy (i self-harm, but i am in no way suicidal, so please do NOT climb on that soapbox), but it keeps me from having the very destructive and extremely violent towards others as well as myself episodes i had from 2-16 when i switched "coping methods" fully. (i started cutting when i was 9).
what i'm trying to say is this.
i'm just so tired of hearing "you can always talk to me" or "i'll never judge you if you need someone around" when the second you take them up on the offer, they go "i don't see what the big deal is. it's just (knitting, a grocery line, a hug, a club, insert-your-dilemma)." and then they get all pissy when i cope with it! they got all pissy with it when i'd destroy things and hurt people for hurting me, now they get all pissy about me hurting me. what am i supposed to do?! sit in the bloody corner and sing "Kumbaya" everytime i feel a freakout coming on? because of i did that, somebody'd probably take a shovel to my head because that's the most annoying song in the entire world! AND I'D THANK THEM!
i just wish they'd make up their minds. are they there for me and do they actually care about me, or are they just a bunch of BSers? because it hurts and it makes things worse in my head!!
These are probably the same people that would tell you to go on psychiatric medication, then turn around and curse you even further for doing so. They're probably the same people that would curse you for talking to a licensed psychologist, even if that psychologist also happened to be part of the clergy. In short, you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't, so you might just as well be damned!
If you have a job, or are attending school, get the hell out of that house and cut all ties with your family.
13 Jan 2014, 7:34 am
