Need help

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I am in need of some desparate help here. I have worries about my future, and these worries are interfering with my ability to have fun at the moment, and also with my ability to concentrate on my homework. You see, I want to go into Web design, and I am worried that since this isn't an engineering job or a prestigious computer programming role, I might be stuck with lower pay than everyone else in this field simply because I have Asperger's and my manager notices the slightest thing that's weird about me, which means I will be stuck in an apartment with strict noise rules, which means that instead of going for a full fledged home theater or stereo system, I might have to either go with a cheap home theater in a box, or a 27" TV and use the TV's built-in speakers. What I need help with here is, is all this worrying unnecessary? Because everytime I go to my mom or dad about these worries about mine, they keep reassuring me by telling me that as long as I work hard and be polite to people, then I will do fine in the workplace when I am out on my own. Is this true, or will my Asperger's make it impossible for me to get ahead in my career despite how hard I work or how polite I am?

I am not sure if this will help, but some insights...

First, you don't say how old you are. My answers would be different for you as a 24-year-old (for example) than they would be for a 44-year-old (my age), but I get the impression that 24 is a lot closer. So I'll answer as assuming you're young and still starting out...

Anyway, the two things that immediately come to mind:

1. Being polite has always worked for me in the workplace, once I figured out that being gracious and polite and mild-mannered can compensate for a lack of social skills, things got a lot better for me. Unfortunately I was already into my 30s when I came to this realization... I'm also friendly. I don't seek out opportunities to chit-chat, but if someone talks to me I try to maintain eye contact and try to be calm and amicable. And most employers also value hard work. So the rep I have where I work now is that I'm a little quirky and a bit on the quiet side, but I'm also friendly and always willing to help out where needed. (I wish I had figured this all out 20 years ago... Better late than never.)

2. Take things one step at a time. Sure, you may have to start with an apartment. That's okay. When I was in my mid-20s I lived in a small apartment that was about 320 square feet, very tiny. I was almost 40 when I bought my current residence (a condo apartment). Work in incremental steps towards what you are after, as far as your home is concerned. (I lived for several years with a 15" colour non-stereo TV, for instance.)

So anyway, if I am faced with a huge problem that seems overwhelming, I break it down into steps, into manageable pieces, and tackle them one at a time. It's less intimidating that way.

Hope this helps...

thanks for your reassurance. I would rather not post my exact age on this website because of censorship issues, as in, my parents think it's unsafe to post my exact age on any public forum, so I'll just tell you that I'm in my early 20s. A few more questions. If I do choose to live in an apartment or condo, which can be great since houses require so much more upkeep, do I have to give up my obsession with stereos and instead use a 27 inch TV and a little boombox, or can I still own a great stereo even if I have to share walls with someone else?

A lot of it depends on how well the place is built. I've lived in apartments where if your neighbour sneezed you could hear it from across the room. Where I live now, it's well constructed... I have a neighbour across the hall who likes to play her radio real loud, I can hear it in the hallway, but as soon as I close the door I can't hear it anymore. In fact, inside my apartment I never hear my neighbours.

Me, I do fine with a 27" stereo TV and a small stereo system. But then that's all I need. If you want the kick-ass stereo system and the home theatre, you might want to make long-range plans towards eventually getting a house. Even if it takes several years to reach that goal.

Off on a tangent, where I live there are a lot of older office buildings that are being turned into condos... we have an excess of office space available and a shortage of housing, so this addresses the problem nicely. And those old office buildings were built very solidly. Ditto for old warehouses that have been converted into lofts (which we also have here). Solidly enough that one might be able to get away with louder equipment than in a regular apartment.

And if worst comes to worst, you can invest in a set of high-end stereo headphones.

Just tossing ideas out here...

I know people with very large TV's in their condo, 60"+

As for stereo. Unless you invite your neighbor over, they might not enjoy your choice in music.

Earning a living while having asperger...Depending on what you do and how lucrative it is. You can do very well.

I'd recommend picking up some kind of engineering degree (computer, EE etc) if you can swing the time and money. Even if you continue with web design, it turns into a nice backup plan. That and no job stays the same. 10+ years from know, you may no longer enjoy it because of changes in the way they are designed.

I'm an engineer and since 1990. Engineering has changed drastically. The tools have changed, expectations have changed etc. Not fast but they have changed. Even slow evolution will make a big difference over 10 years. Got to be a little flexible to change with the times.