Friend cancels dinner plan at the very last minute.

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Tonight I was expecting a friend to come over for dinner, and to watch some shows that she likes, at 8pm.
I bought some food to cook and was busy tidying up the flat when at 7.40pm I got a text message from her saying she wasn't coming because she was too busy with another friend.

I felt so crushed that I cried. I have been so lonely lately and I really wanted to see my friend.
It made me feel a rush of hopelessness, as if there is nothing to live for anymore if I have to spend another evening all alone. It made me want to kill myself.

I am going to cook the food anyway. At least it will keep me busy for a little while and give me something to think about other than suicide.

<hugs>
I am sorry she had to cancel. Feeling lonely can be crippling sometimes. Ever since I moved back to my home town I have felt really lonely. I don't have many friends here outside of workmates and family.
I hope your friend comes around someday soon for a visit.

Thank you Salamandaquerty. I am sorry it has been lonely for you too. Though having family must be a good thing.

The thing is, last time I invited my friend for dinner, another friend called her while she was here saying that she (the other friend) was having some sort of crisis. So then my friend left straight away, in the middle of dinner, to help the other person with the crisis. It wasn't much of a crisis by the sound of it - just something minor with a car.

Now that it has happened again I am really, really hurt. I was really hurt the first time but this is even worse.
I didn't tell her I that it upset me but it really has.

I'm sorry she did that to you too.

It's s**t when you're on your own and someone who you consider to be a friend lets you down.

What was you cooking by the way?

^^Well it's her loss then. It sounds like a really nice meal.

Thanks, that's a very kind thing to say and makes me feel a bit better.

I have had that done to me-it was explained that the person had made other planned with another person and did not want to stand up that person after I was asked if I wanted to do something on that day and was left hanging-it was very upsetting to say the least. I feel for you and with what happened to you-and this person I was associated with was also on the spectrum.

That is so sad especially when you made all that effort and was looking forward to her coming over.
I don't think I could forgive anyone if they did that to me.
And then NTs wonder why we keep to ourselves.

i had a friend do this sort of thing to me for a while. it got worse over time, and i don't know why i didn't stand up to her sooner.
it doesn't seem like she's a real friend. she didn't even offer to come over later or make it up to you.

I call them fair weather friends.

I had one who would drop me as soon as someone more useful to her came along.

I can't tell you the amount of times she let me down. In the end I just gave up with her.

My trouble is, is that I'm far too easy going.

The thing is, this friend (who stood me up) has really helped me through some dreadful times in the past. There have been times when I felt such despair that I probably would have ended it all if I hadn't had this friend who helped me to pick up the pieces of the wreckage that is my life.

She has been very supportive. I don't have any family nearby and even if I did my family has always been callous and unsupportive.

As it turned out, the friend who stood me up last night invited me to come out for lunch today. I think she was genuinely sorry about last night.
I was feeling a little churlish so I turned up late for lunch and didn't feel like eating so I only drank tea.
But it was a relief to be reassured that I still have a friend who cares about me.