feeling scared

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Kate you mentioned in your post before last that you will have custody of your son until his autism/ ADHD are cured - this is a good thing for you: autism and ADHD are incurable

I see. I don't know about family court rules (so it's like that Judge Judy Show) you prepare and speak on your own behalf.
There really should be a different way of dealing with these things when there is illness and children with special needs involved. Damn. What a cold "justice" system. I've also had a run in with my countries justice system and court and they did nothing for me.

Yes if you haven't had much to eat and been stressed then your body and mind will be sluggish. I understand it's hard to do things if you're not full of energy but stay sharp and calm and in 2 and a half weeks you're out and free.
You only feel so demolished mentally and physically right now because there is a lot on your plate and as soon as you start feeling better together with your son in a new place you'll have new energy to tackle things. You will forget the fatigue you're going through now.

I was wondering what kind of a phone you have. If it has a camera you could just take a picture of the items and send them to your own E-mail with the share function. That way you will have everything gathered and online and never worry about where the pictures are, and make a habit of always asking for the receipt whenever you buy something even if it's for yourself. And store all of them in the same place. In a wallet, handbag compartment or even with a clamp, for clothes even if you don't find any other.

Friends are gold. It is the most valuable thing in my life. Without good friendship I would be sitting at home each day and be a self-destructive depressed recluse.
That's good to hear. And I'm happy they will help you out and support you through hard times.
I don't want to sound like I'm trying to use a carrot and stick here. But be aware of that them helping you is a wonderful thing but when you're strong and you know it you must find a place of your own if possible or chip in if you're able. They are willing to help and support but not take care of you when you can stand on your own, so you don't get stuck in a victim pose and mentality. Because I don't think they meant to support a grown woman and child for a longer time. Just saying, and I bet you'll know when you're able to move on and out.
But when that time comes you'll be rested, full and have regained strength and I don't believe that you'll be worrying that much about those 3 years of financial support you dread running out. You'll notice yourself become stronger in character and decisions as well after this.
Life shapes us, if you get through this you'll get through the next thing and you'll remember how to deal with these heavy pressures you´re feeling today. It's like alpineglow said, survival mode, defend your cub and find a new lair.

I understand you worry and feel anxious, but it makes you even weaker if kept up. Adopt a determined and focused(and pissed off, but not violent) mentality where you and your son live a life that is yours.
Much changes in 3 years.

"I can't do anything about it tonight.". Precisely worry is useless, become strategic and put energy into what keeps you alive and kicking. Do not spend energy and health on verbal arguments that can drain you (I don't know if you snap at each other because you're still under the same roof), avoid those fangs. Don't be stupid and take the bait if he's trying to get you going. Just smile on the inside and know that in 2 weeks you'll be rid of him. That's it.

Good night.

Hi Kate, I believe I've read your posts in the past, and I think that your getting away from such a cold hearted son of a serpent is a good thing despite how scary it must be for you.

Just as a note, SSI disability pays a federal (The same for each state without possible addition of state supplement depending on if the state has such) amount of $721 a month if you are living without financial assistance. So living on your own with your son, you should be eligible for the full amount once you no longer receive outside income like alimony? I only mention because you've mentioned you'll be receiving $1,300 a month for three years. Also, your monetary resources can't go over $2k while on SSI, or during the file claim. If your resources do exceed the amount, they'll bill you for overpayment if already on SSI disability, or drop your claim if you are just filing. You should be able to find a lot of information on it on Social Security's web site. If you don't already know the site... http://www.socialsecurity.gov/
Once your son is older, you should be able to file a disability claim for him as well. It can take over a year to get on SSI disability though because of the appeal process everybody seems to go through no matter the strength of their case.

Some resources that came to mind for your situation...

Food Stamps are pretty easy to obtain. You should be able to receive them fairly quickly as it only takes a month to start up. Though they too have financial guidelines to who applies. They are found at your local DHS office. I believe they should be able to set you up with health care and even possibly extra help with your son, and if not, they should be able to point you in the right direction. The nice thing is, it's easy enough to just walk into the building and get help in person, and services fairly soon after.
Here's a link to the Alabama DHS site... Food stamps: http://www.dhr.alabama.gov/services/Food_Assistance/Food_Assistance_Division.aspx

...And some other things they also offer that looked possibly helpful: http://www.dhr.alabama.gov/services/Family_Services/Family_Services.aspx

I don't know much about finding housing if you should have to. I know craigslist seemed to have apartments under $400 a month in Alabama, but I don't know which part of such you reside... I'm assuming you know of craigslist and how to operate it, but I'll post a link anyways just in case >_>... http://geo.craigslist.org/iso/us/al
Just click the county, then apartments and housing on the next board, and then type in the parameters for your search... though I'm assuming you probably know that already... I don't mean to insult you if you do. $450 a month is pretty much the max you can really get on your own when most apartment managements want your monthly income to be at least 2x rent, and on $721 a month SSI, and $189 (food stamps count) for food stamps being around $900. The ones that want you to have 3x the rent... are hit and miss if they'll wave the requirement for you. They might if you let them know you're disabled. Though starting with $1300 a month could open your options up quite a bit, just know that your future budget won't be as high so try and think ahead when choosing a place if you can. Also, never set up to rent a place you've not seen in person, as there can be shifty adds, or carefully taken photos making icky places look nice

There's also HUD. I've never looked into it before, but they help financially assist with section 8 and disability housing and such apparently. I don't know if this would help, but here's a link for that... http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD

I remember living in Torrance CA, there was an office who held free services to autistic people with handicaps. Perhaps you could find extra assistance in help with your son if you could find a place like that near home. I don't know where you'd find such, but searching gave me this... http://www.alabamaautism.org/
I don't know if anything there would be too useful, but maybe they could point you in the right direction for help in finding such a place. Sorry if that's a complete dead end.

As far as affordable clothing, as Sweetleaf mentioned, thrift shops are rather inexpensive, and the clothing has to be in good condition for them to even take in to sell in the first place.

I'm sorry if this long post just comes off as a list... I couldn't seem to compose the large amount of information into a more warm set of words.

Stay safe, I'm sure you'll make it through this rough time and in a much better place than before once you can get back on your feet.

^ super info

Take these 18 days to familiarize yourself with these options and solutions, write everything down, the key points. Learn your most important rights because there might be instances where people in the system will jerk you around.

And no need to absorb all the info in one day I know you might be exhausted, read up on food stamps today or tomorrow then summarize it on paper for yourself (or print it out, if possible and highlight the parts needed) so you know what you should get.

Knowledge is important or people will control you if they see you are clueless, and you might get less or not be heard.

Very good Lance-Bane, very good.

well after the 18 days I have 90 days of staying with friends.......and if I can make that work it would be good. I would be contributing in that I am a fairly good cook, can manage a household, and would be doing the housework among other things..... Also I am certified to teach where my friends live and would actively pursue that as a career.

If not I think I will cross that bridge when I get to it and I may not ever get to it. I think I need to relax and just get through this difficult time.

Indeed like you said. Can't do much about the future only the now. No point flooding yourself with worry.

Having options in teaching and being a good hand around the house makes you a great addition. And you'll show those around you that you're pursuing things and that you're not a broken person just very exhausted.

You'll see, once you're out of there and rested, 90 days at your friends place is lots of time to check things out. But do relax for a week or so once you're settled in. They will understand. And after that look for cribs and employment.

Right now just study the very helpful things Lance-Bane posted and divide them into days, every night sit and read about what you need to know, take notes and become knowledgeable of your rights. Once you know a little more about what to do you will worry less and less until the day you need to act and then just take action naturally knowing the essentials.

Worrying is pondering the unknown, if it's not unknown that pondering will become planning.